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I AGREE!! IM A FIXER,ALWAYS FIXING WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE FIXED.WHEN I NEED SOMETHING FIXED ITS AUTOMATICALY A "I DONT KNOW"CRISES.!!
I think I'm a combination of both, actually. My danger, like Teresa's, is that sometimes if I don't take action to fix my mood, I tend to wallow in sadness for unhealthily long periods of time. But most of the time, I don't try to "distract" myself from feeling unhappy. If I need to sleep, cry, or just wallow, I let myself do it, and it usually passes. Of course, if it doesn't, that's when I need to give myself a kick in the ass and get moving!
Generally, I'm okay with not being okay, but I've discovered that if someone I love is upset, it really affects me in such a way that I want to take away their pain and am frustrated when I can't.
I’m not really a fixer but my husband is. He thinks that if I am feeling sad, he should fix it. He doesn’t understand that sometimes I just want a sympathetic ear, not a quick fix. There just might not be a quick fix…or a fix at all. I do find, though, that I tend to fall into sadness a little too easily. I wonder if my overall moods would improve if I took your advice and learned to just accept the fact that I’m feeling sad and that’s okay. After all, who is happy and cheery ALL of the time? Without some variation in mood, we’d all become a little bored!
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Be OK with not being OK
Posted by Lara I.
I feel like we live in such a society where we seek fixes for everything: Bad mood? Do something to make yourself feel better!
But, sometimes it seems like this then breeds this notion that we can't just feel bad. That some days will suck. Sometimes we all get cranky. That's ok. I think so much obsessive and addictive behavior comes from people trying to run away from what they are feeling, rather than acknowledging and tolerating uncomfortable feelings. I think one of the best skills a person can have is to be ok with not being ok.
Can you do it? How do you do it? Or are you a "fixer"?