I think this applies to all moms, and I wonder if I’d be the same when my children grow older…
My mom always treats me like a small kid. I am already 33 years old, independent, and have strong opinion on many things, want to do things my way.
However, when it comes to staying with my mom, I often get very agitated. I think she feels the same too, coz she is also having a strong character. Very often, we argue a lot. Sigh! I know she loves me very much, and I also love her, but we just can’t get along very well.
She always thinks that I should do this do that, and she doesn’t allow different opinion. Many examples to follow…
She likes to use a lot of oil in cooking, and she likes meat ‘just’ cooked. On the other hand, I dislike oil in my food, and I like very soft meat. So, when she cook something, or if we eat something outside, she’d ask opinion like: “this tastes very good hor?”, and if I disagree and say that I prefer something else, she’d be angry and said: “Where got? This is NICE!”.
Or she can defend that it is impossible to cook the meat till soft, and claimed that she has already cooked very long (steamed pork ribs for 20 minutes only, in fact). The thing is, I could prove to her that if the pork ribs are steamed longer (usually I steam for 2 hours), it will be soft and Ian can also take it. She refused to believe in it, and keep saying that the 20 min hard meat is just nice and it is us (Ian and I) being too fussy. 
She likes to add milk into the tong-sui called ‘白果薏米’. As for me, I hate the taste of milk that has been heated up - even though cooled down later, the smell is still there. I can drink a lot of fresh milk, but must be pasteurized, and never been warmed up. So, I always plead her, if she wants me to take the tong-sui, then please not to add milk, otherwise don’t expect me to take it. Her response is: “Add milk makes it taste better.” And she continues to add in. If I refuse to take, she keeps saying “it tastes better with milk”, ignoring my feeling.
She loves me very much, and always wanted me to eat bird’s nest during pregnancy. But I am financially tight that I can’t afford the few thousand ringgit on bird’s nest, furthermore I don’t believe in it.
She loves me so much so that she went and bought it, cooked for me to eat, with her own money! This really made me feel so touched and emotional. But then… things irritated when… she insisted that I should wake up in the midnight (3am or 4am) to eat the bird’s nest, because her friends said the body will absorb better.
I told her that I couldn’t do it, because of tireness and hassles of having to brush my teeth again at that hour, and not having enough sleep. She got very angry with me after that. Sigh!
I guess sometimes, I probably should tell some white lies, to make both parties happy. I should have told her that: ok I’ll drink at 3am, but in fact I can drink before bed time. As for the food, a bit hard to lie, coz I really can’t eat much of those food (or even any!).
Basically, my mom just doesn’t accept opinions that are different from hers. If she has decided that this dress is nice on you, if you don’t like it, she will still force you to wear. The problem is, we are already grown up. We will not do what she wants if we disagree (like wearing something we don’t like, but she likes). So, conflicts occur… I guess another way is just to ignore her, instead of telling her our true feeling/opinion.
I think this applies to all moms, and I wonder if I’d be the same when my children grow older…
My mom always treats me like a small kid. I am already 33 years old, independent, and have strong opinion on many things, want to do things my way.
However, when it comes to staying with my mom, I often get very agitated. I think she feels the same too, coz she is also having a strong character. Very often, we argue a lot. Sigh! I know she loves me very much, and I also love her, but we just can’t get along very well.
She always thinks that I should do this do that, and she doesn’t allow different opinion. Many examples to follow…
She likes to use a lot of oil in cooking, and she likes meat ‘just’ cooked. On the other hand, I dislike oil in my food, and I like very soft meat. So, when she cook something, or if we eat something outside, she’d ask opinion like: “this tastes very good hor?”, and if I disagree and say that I prefer something else, she’d be angry and said: “Where got? This is NICE!”.
Or she can defend that it is impossible to cook the meat till soft, and claimed that she has already cooked very long (steamed pork ribs for 20 minutes only, in fact). The thing is, I could prove to her that if the pork ribs are steamed longer (usually I steam for 2 hours), it will be soft and Ian can also take it. She refused to believe in it, and keep saying that the 20 min hard meat is just nice and it is us (Ian and I) being too fussy.
She likes to add milk into the tong-sui called ‘白果薏米’. As for me, I hate the taste of milk that has been heated up - even though cooled down later, the smell is still there. I can drink a lot of fresh milk, but must be pasteurized, and never been warmed up. So, I always plead her, if she wants me to take the tong-sui, then please not to add milk, otherwise don’t expect me to take it. Her response is: “Add milk makes it taste better.” And she continues to add in. If I refuse to take, she keeps saying “it tastes better with milk”, ignoring my feeling.
She loves me very much, and always wanted me to eat bird’s nest during pregnancy. But I am financially tight that I can’t afford the few thousand ringgit on bird’s nest, furthermore I don’t believe in it.
She loves me so much so that she went and bought it, cooked for me to eat, with her own money! This really made me feel so touched and emotional. But then… things irritated when… she insisted that I should wake up in the midnight (3am or 4am) to eat the bird’s nest, because her friends said the body will absorb better.
I told her that I couldn’t do it, because of tireness and hassles of having to brush my teeth again at that hour, and not having enough sleep. She got very angry with me after that. Sigh!
I guess sometimes, I probably should tell some white lies, to make both parties happy. I should have told her that: ok I’ll drink at 3am, but in fact I can drink before bed time. As for the food, a bit hard to lie, coz I really can’t eat much of those food (or even any!).
Basically, my mom just doesn’t accept opinions that are different from hers. If she has decided that this dress is nice on you, if you don’t like it, she will still force you to wear. The problem is, we are already grown up. We will not do what she wants if we disagree (like wearing something we don’t like, but she likes). So, conflicts occur… I guess another way is just to ignore her, instead of telling her our true feeling/opinion.