JOURNAL: Rapid Cycle

Right, so I think being able to record House on the DVR is pretty much the coolest thing since sliced bread. I was watching an episode earlier and there was a funny part, I started to laugh, and then laughed harder. Suddenly I was filled with so much joy and euphoria and I was really happy and tickled pink by life. Before the episode was over I was back to blah. Then I went rage when the dogs started to bark. Now I am blah again. I am not trying to complain. I don't want you guys to feel sorry for me. I just... I need to get this out, and I am so frustrated with each day being like this that I don't know what to do. I am thinking about going to see the pdoc again (the original one I had) and seeing about a med change or something... maybe it's time to try Li. Yuck. But I don't really know what else to do.

My thinking behind trying Li is that Lamictal, the only anti convulsant that has worked for me, is the only anticonvulsant approved for treatment of bipolar. Only Lamictal and Li are the only approved treatments for bpt. I've tried off label anti convulsants and they didn't work. So if one of the approved methods of treatment worked... maybe the other one will too. It's worth a shot I think maybe. I hate to make a big deal of anything or be over reactive about this. I don't know. I'll call her tomorrow and see about coming in. Although it's hard to get an appointment with her. Bugger. At any rate I am not going back to the dude pdoc at Baptist. What a tool. Maybe I can go to my family doc... hmmmm... well at any rate, I am sick and tired of this fucking roller coaster. I am fed up. And now I am really tired. Sheesh. But I cannot allow myself to sleep bc I need to read for school. Which I haven't done at all today. Dammit.