After being an amazingly belligerent, negative and rude bitch in my CPN appointment, then bursting into tears when I got outside, and considering the huge amount of energy that I have coupled with equally huge amounts of horrible depressive thoughts that are picking at me, I have just twigged that I am probably heading for a mixed episode and I have been crying with frustration about it for half an hour. I still haven’t even got to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription because, ha, I feel afraid of everyone I encounter. I don’t seem to be able to convey any emotions other than anger, irritation and sadness. Which is fun and annoying for those around me. Rob is worried. I am not.
EDIT: Gave her a ring to apologise. Not a literal ring, but a phone type one. I hate snapping at people, especially people who are trying to help, but I have been unbelievably irritable recently. Manic depression, though, is no excuse for being a total bitch to people.
I’m also flathunting, now in the mindset of move now, sort benefits later because I am going to end up torching this place just to get out of it. I should ask the rest of the tenants here where they’re moving to, since I see a new packed bag in the hall every week. Now I am looking at flats and if I see a heater in the photo that’s almost enough to make me leave right now. If the single room under 25 rule applies again, I’m fucked and have no choice but to stay here.
I’m limited in my options- I have to stay in Islington so that I can continue to be treated by the same (helpful) people.
Also, in FLAT NEWS! the landlord ran in today to look at the cracks on my ceiling- my light fixture rotted so I just use a lamp. The reason why, I discovered today, is because the attic is waterlogged and it’s starting to erode my ceiling and electrics.
A deathtrap as well as a shithole!
There’s an amazing amount of scammer adverts on Gumtree. “One bed flat in Westminster £147 a week” AYE RIGHT.
After being an amazingly belligerent, negative and rude bitch in my CPN appointment, then bursting into tears when I got outside, and considering the huge amount of energy that I have coupled with equally huge amounts of horrible depressive thoughts that are picking at me, I have just twigged that I am probably heading for a mixed episode and I have been crying with frustration about it for half an hour. I still haven’t even got to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription because, ha, I feel afraid of everyone I encounter. I don’t seem to be able to convey any emotions other than anger, irritation and sadness. Which is fun and annoying for those around me. Rob is worried. I am not.
EDIT: Gave her a ring to apologise. Not a literal ring, but a phone type one. I hate snapping at people, especially people who are trying to help, but I have been unbelievably irritable recently. Manic depression, though, is no excuse for being a total bitch to people.
I’m also flathunting, now in the mindset of move now, sort benefits later because I am going to end up torching this place just to get out of it. I should ask the rest of the tenants here where they’re moving to, since I see a new packed bag in the hall every week. Now I am looking at flats and if I see a heater in the photo that’s almost enough to make me leave right now. If the single room under 25 rule applies again, I’m fucked and have no choice but to stay here.
I’m limited in my options- I have to stay in Islington so that I can continue to be treated by the same (helpful) people.
Also, in FLAT NEWS! the landlord ran in today to look at the cracks on my ceiling- my light fixture rotted so I just use a lamp. The reason why, I discovered today, is because the attic is waterlogged and it’s starting to erode my ceiling and electrics.
A deathtrap as well as a shithole!
There’s an amazing amount of scammer adverts on Gumtree. “One bed flat in Westminster £147 a week” AYE RIGHT.
Filed under: Bipolar Disorder, mixed episode