You would think I was talking about baby MacBook taking a dive and losing its hard drive again but it may be me taking a dive and losing my hard drive. I applied for a job today. OMG. I’m so freaked out, I just popped a Valium/Diazepam! Who knows if they’ll even call me but the next thing that popped into my mind was: I’m in desperate need of a haircut!
I keep thinking and wondering if I’m even ready to start applying again, much less get a job but how unbelievable is this? I got so excited when I actually found a quarter the other day! I’m not kidding. My heart jumped in the air at the sight of a 25 cent coin! Let’s add it to the little pile of the rest of my change.
Good lord.
So, thinking…wondering. Am I thinking and wondering about not being ready so much, am I doing some kind of mental “trick” on myself? Am I somehow reinforcing the fact that I’m not ready–when I actually am? And yet, I can’t even be bothered to do so many “basic” things! I want to be “bothered” to do them but so much of the time I just sit around and feel like I can’t move. I begin these things (or some of them) and then they just get shelved.
Right now I’m feeling kind of sick about that job application. In fact, I feel like a want to start crying about it too! It’s like, what have I done? What did I just do? Am I crazy??? Well, yes I am.
J. wants me to come over for dinner and I feel like I can’t be “bothered” to do that, either. I will need to leave soon. Although, it is food and everyone knows PA always needs that!
Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!
Posted in ADD, Asperger's, Bipolar Disorder, Cranky, Facts About Patient Anonymous, Health, Therapy, You Decide
You would think I was talking about baby MacBook taking a dive and losing its hard drive again but it may be me taking a dive and losing my hard drive. I applied for a job today. OMG. I’m so freaked out, I just popped a Valium/Diazepam! Who knows if they’ll even call me but the next thing that popped into my mind was: I’m in desperate need of a haircut!
I keep thinking and wondering if I’m even ready to start applying again, much less get a job but how unbelievable is this? I got so excited when I actually found a quarter the other day! I’m not kidding. My heart jumped in the air at the sight of a 25 cent coin! Let’s add it to the little pile of the rest of my change.
Good lord.
So, thinking…wondering. Am I thinking and wondering about not being ready so much, am I doing some kind of mental “trick” on myself? Am I somehow reinforcing the fact that I’m not ready–when I actually am? And yet, I can’t even be bothered to do so many “basic” things! I want to be “bothered” to do them but so much of the time I just sit around and feel like I can’t move. I begin these things (or some of them) and then they just get shelved.
Right now I’m feeling kind of sick about that job application. In fact, I feel like a want to start crying about it too! It’s like, what have I done? What did I just do? Am I crazy??? Well, yes I am.
J. wants me to come over for dinner and I feel like I can’t be “bothered” to do that, either. I will need to leave soon. Although, it is food and everyone knows PA always needs that!
Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!
Posted in ADD, Asperger's, Bipolar Disorder, Cranky, Facts About Patient Anonymous, Health, Therapy, You Decide