Calvin B. Patient Expert

Washington DC, District of Columbia
I'm a writer who lives in DC. I blog about fibromyalgia and other things at... Full Bio
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Apologies for Not Posting Lately... by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia ...but everything that's come into my head that I've felt like putting on paper or running through a word processor has me creating a comic book that has little dialogue and n ... Read on »
'Straight From the Bog.' (C) Ocean Spray by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia Ohhhh-kaaay. That's the slogan they're going with? This is what a bog is, according to dictionary.net:"A quagmire filled with decayed moss and other vegetable matter; w ... Read on »
Spanish-speaking Clown Cowboys Electrocuting A Guy for Fun and (Very Little) Money! by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia I was flipping through television channels and came upon the Spanish Channel. The show's MCs were dressed in clown-ish makeup and wore cowboy-kinda clothes. They also had fak ... Read on »
OK... So Methadone Knocked Me On My Ass For A Month by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia Did not see that one coming! But now things seem to be better... And not in the way I said before. For example: Now I know that I cannot lay down for a second during the day ... Read on »
Mysteries Of the Pyramids, Explained by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia A lot of wacky stuff has been posited by a lot of wacky people due to the fact that pyramids were made by various cultures at various times, despite these cultures having had ... Read on »
Jesus's Family Values by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia [Originally posted December 10, 2008, and inspired by this Newsweek cover article by Lisa Miller.] The Biblical patriarchs had as many wives and concubines as they could affo ... Read on »
My Apartment Is A Prison by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia I'm at the coffeehouse I so often go to, but haven't been to since I began my current pain-management regimen. I've stayed away because I haven't wanted to aggravate the pain ... Read on »
The Methadone May Be Starting To Work... by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia ...because I'm feeling very lethargic -- again. I also think my pain may be -- maybe -- reduced from where it was Monday, when I began taking Methadone. So I'll be posting sh ... Read on »
The Good News Of Judas Iscariot by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia I watched a program on the Gospel of Judas. In response to whether this noncanonical gospel is important, a priest/reverend responded with this (paraphrase): I can't imagine a ... Read on »
Warning: This Post Contains Objectionable Material If You Object To Reality by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia Last night I watched a PBS show about stress. Stress. But just before the show began, words on the teevee screen and an announcer announced: "This program contains mate ... Read on »
I Am So Very Tire...... huh? Wha? Oh. Right. I'm Tired. by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia I need to make this short because I don't have the mental energy to make it long. Yesterday I began Methadone. This week I take five mg every eight hours, and use fifteen mg ... Read on »
Methadone Treatment Begins Tomorrow by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia Yep. This is going to be a post, on a blog called The Fibromyalgian, about fibromyalgia. What can I say (write)? It's a crazy world. As I think I mentioned in an earlier post ... Read on »
I Live In A Freaking Nuthouse by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia I was coming back into my building, with another resident behind me. This particular resident is an adult. Probably fifty-something. He's rotund, and always wears T-shirts tha ... Read on »
'Sweet Caroline' Is Just Freaking Gross by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia Does Fenway (home of the Red Sox) still play, and the stadium sing along with, "Sweet Caroline" (by Neil Diamond) before the bottom of the eighth inning? If so, I t ... Read on »
I'm Getting Hot for Guys by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia [It's probably important for me to note that I'm straight. And male.] A lot of hipsters hang out at my favorite coffeeshop. By definition (it seems), male hipsters are people ... Read on »
Portland: Beware The Macbook Liberator! by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia Portland has a new superhero (or will if he ever gets enough liquid courage...): The MacBook Liberator! I spend a lot of time in coffeehouses because, for a two-dollar house ... Read on »
Stats Don't Lie: States That Went for McCain In the Prez. Election Are Stupid by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia [Originally posted December 8, 2008.] This post will be a series of factual statements from which the reader can draw his/her own conclusions, because giving my own -- as I d ... Read on »
Abortion Facts (Conservative Fat Cats Don't Wan't You To Know!) by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia The following stats enumerate the fact that abortion is legal in the US because it is the will of the people. And this fact cannot be ignored: While George W Bush was in offi ... Read on »
The Bailout Is Bullshit by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia [Originally published -- and reprinted, here, without being updated with facts that show the government bailout of the financial services industry to be an even more sizable ... Read on »
Dear Freshpet Select: by Calvin B. Patient Expert Posted in: Blog Posts in Fibromyalgia Your commercial asks: "You wouldn't feed your family food from a bag, so why feed it to your dog?" This is used as a means to induce people to buy dog food that req ... Read on »