For those who don't know it, I am a Social Worker. I work as an adolescent therapist at a special education High School. I love my job, despite the fact that it can be emotionally exhausting. As a therapist, part of the work being in touch with yourself and constantly gaining self awareness. To see what types of topics you react to, and why. Exploring your feelings that your clients bring up in you, is vital to doing a good job.
I have had some challenges along the way with regards to Cancer in my work. First, having to disclose my illness to my clients at the time of going through treatment because - well I was bald. And not wanting to lie or cover something up to them - to not be one of the many others in their lives who have not been honest or forthcoming with them. So I told them, all that they asked and wanted to know. Since my recovery, and now not being sick - it is no longer a topic of conversation at work. (Even though I have had the same coworkers since - which at times is comforting and at others it bothers me - especially when someone says "wow Jen, your hair has gotten so long! Duh, as if four years of growth wouldn't amount to anything) And, all the students who I worked with four years ago when I was ill - have since moved on from our program. So, my newer clients have no idea about what went on - as it should be.
But, there are some instances where it becomes very challenging to separate my feelings. A student told me the other day that his uncle (whom is like a father figure to him) was diagnosed with liver cancer. The following day, a female student told me she'd been to the gynecologist for the first time and had a cyst on her ovary. These stories, their concerns, their fears, bring up so much in me - that at times I am flooded with feelings that it makes it more challenging to do the work. Like when my student told me that his uncle "is going to die," I felt myself compelled to tell him that "having cancer is not a death sentence." That was not about him, or where he was - it was about me. When my female student told me about the cysts and no intent to followup with a doctor, I became enraged and basically told her she "had" to go to the doctor. As opposed to exploring with her why she was avoiding it, I lectured her like a parent. Now, the good thing - is that I am aware of these things - and I know why I reacted the way I did - and I know that I need to better control my responses about this topic. But it's hard. The feeling that I have about cancer are so real, and so raw - that any trigger is capable of creating an emotional - not rational reaction. Which on a day to day, is fine - but in my work it makes it hard.
So, I just wanted to share some of how having Cancer continues to affect my work - and of course affect me. My supervisor a while back said to me "I'd love to hear more about how your experience impacts your work." But I truly avoided that topic with him - due to fear of being overloaded and breaking down. But I know it is something I need to process and constantly keep in my awareness. I guess I should talk with him about it. Maybe I will.
For those who don't know it, I am a Social Worker. I work as an adolescent therapist at a special education High School. I love my job, despite the fact that it can be emotionally exhausting. As a therapist, part of the work being in touch with yourself and constantly gaining self awareness. To see what types of topics you react to, and why. Exploring your feelings that your clients bring up in you, is vital to doing a good job.
I have had some challenges along the way with regards to Cancer in my work. First, having to disclose my illness to my clients at the time of going through treatment because - well I was bald. And not wanting to lie or cover something up to them - to not be one of the many others in their lives who have not been honest or forthcoming with them. So I told them, all that they asked and wanted to know. Since my recovery, and now not being sick - it is no longer a topic of conversation at work. (Even though I have had the same coworkers since - which at times is comforting and at others it bothers me - especially when someone says "wow Jen, your hair has gotten so long! Duh, as if four years of growth wouldn't amount to anything) And, all the students who I worked with four years ago when I was ill - have since moved on from our program. So, my newer clients have no idea about what went on - as it should be.
But, there are some instances where it becomes very challenging to separate my feelings. A student told me the other day that his uncle (whom is like a father figure to him) was diagnosed with liver cancer. The following day, a female student told me she'd been to the gynecologist for the first time and had a cyst on her ovary. These stories, their concerns, their fears, bring up so much in me - that at times I am flooded with feelings that it makes it more challenging to do the work. Like when my student told me that his uncle "is going to die," I felt myself compelled to tell him that "having cancer is not a death sentence." That was not about him, or where he was - it was about me. When my female student told me about the cysts and no intent to followup with a doctor, I became enraged and basically told her she "had" to go to the doctor. As opposed to exploring with her why she was avoiding it, I lectured her like a parent. Now, the good thing - is that I am aware of these things - and I know why I reacted the way I did - and I know that I need to better control my responses about this topic. But it's hard. The feeling that I have about cancer are so real, and so raw - that any trigger is capable of creating an emotional - not rational reaction. Which on a day to day, is fine - but in my work it makes it hard.
So, I just wanted to share some of how having Cancer continues to affect my work - and of course affect me. My supervisor a while back said to me "I'd love to hear more about how your experience impacts your work." But I truly avoided that topic with him - due to fear of being overloaded and breaking down. But I know it is something I need to process and constantly keep in my awareness. I guess I should talk with him about it. Maybe I will.