I love this picture! So cute. And he looks happy too. I am feeling pretty good today so far. Took a much needed break from blogging yesterday. Spent the morning at Wal-Mart and getting my hair cut, then the afternoon at the hospital for tests. I enjoyed the morning more than I did the afternoon. I should be glowing in the dark now from all that contrast for my CT scans. I think that was the longest I have ever been in the machine. With any luck we will have the results back either today or tomorrow.
I woke up very puffy this morning. My feet were sore yesterday with a swelling in my arch on the left foot and some swelling in my ankles. Now, my fingers look like chubby little sausages and my face is puffy too. I have bags under my eyes and my mouth is a bit puffy. I have the lips of Angelina Jolie and the eyes of Rodney Dangerfield - not a good combo. Not sure why - hopefully it will go away with time.
On a sad note, we brought home a little beagle to bury next to Sadie yesterday. He looks to be less than a year old - just a little boy - a 13 inch standard beagle just like Shannon. Someone hit him with a car and left - never bothering to stop and check on him. It was out on a back road and no one cared. I don't know why - but we felt led to stop and we brought him home to a final resting place - it was better than waiting for the county to remove his body. He had passed away before we found him. Poor little guy. No tags or collar - probably a stray judging by the briar marks on his ears. Too often beagles will take off following wherever their noses lead them - and then something bad like this happens. I don't know if he ever had a name or a real family - but I chose to call him Sebastian. Actually, Sebastian Bach since all of our guys have middle names. Ok - the Bach part is odd. But beagles make beautiful music and so did Bach. May little Sebastian rest in peace.
We would all like to be buried out here on this property. Ron plotted out the spots for him, me, Shannon and Annie. This is my hearts desire - it is a beautiful spot facing the east and overlooking what I like to call my Psalms 23 view. I may be alive for another 40 years - but I love it out here and really don't want to leave. This is where I plan to die when the time comes. You would have to understand the story behind how we came to find this house in the country and all the hell we went through before we got here. I firmly believe that God brought us here - this was our refuge and little did we know it would be our refuge through more than one storm. That said - I don't know how Ohio law feels about my being buried out here and we have to find a way to actually get a loan for this house first. If it turns out that I might actually die of this cancer - then my one wish, next to going to see my sister in Wichita for a week, is to find a way to get this house in my husbands name.
Being told you have cancer over and over again makes you do some serious thinking. I have thought a lot about what happens if I die from this. We are in our 30's and never did any pre-planning for a burial or funeral. So - I want to keep it simple. I do know that I want a service here on the property - a celebration of my life. I want my favorite music playing and tons of my favorite foods for people to eat. I want people to share stories about me - and instead of crying I want to hear laughter as they remember some of the stupid things I have done through the years. I want people to remember my sense of humor - the way I could find a silver lining in most any circumstance. I want to be remembered as the girl who loved animals - the girl who would cry over a beagle that she didn't even know.
I don't have a good feeling about my cancer. I am just being honest. But, that doesn't mean that God won't intervene and give me a little help. Personally I would like to stick around for many more years just to see what happens. I love life - always have. Even when the chips are down - even when things are so unbearable and it seems there is no way out of a bad situation - I have always loved life. What a precious gift it is too. A gift that I cherish each day.
It is almost time for Shannon to have her breakfast - she is laying on the floor not far from me and just staring at me. She has been ready for breakfast since she got me up at 5am. She is like a toddler that never grows up. Annie is sound asleep and I can hear Ron snoring from the bedroom. That is the way it goes in our house - Shannon always chooses me to burn the midnight oil with. She doesn't care if it is 2am or 5am - if she is awake and bored, then she feels her mommy should be up along with her. Little does Shannon know, we are going back to bed after breakfast!
Today is an exciting day. We get our stove and frig tonite. I finally get to pop something in the oven for supper. And I just might make some Christmas cookies too. Though it is not the most healthy choice for me - I have really been hungry for a little plate of french fries hot from the oven. Bon Appetite!
I woke up very puffy this morning. My feet were sore yesterday with a swelling in my arch on the left foot and some swelling in my ankles. Now, my fingers look like chubby little sausages and my face is puffy too. I have bags under my eyes and my mouth is a bit puffy. I have the lips of Angelina Jolie and the eyes of Rodney Dangerfield - not a good combo. Not sure why - hopefully it will go away with time.
On a sad note, we brought home a little beagle to bury next to Sadie yesterday. He looks to be less than a year old - just a little boy - a 13 inch standard beagle just like Shannon. Someone hit him with a car and left - never bothering to stop and check on him. It was out on a back road and no one cared. I don't know why - but we felt led to stop and we brought him home to a final resting place - it was better than waiting for the county to remove his body. He had passed away before we found him. Poor little guy. No tags or collar - probably a stray judging by the briar marks on his ears. Too often beagles will take off following wherever their noses lead them - and then something bad like this happens. I don't know if he ever had a name or a real family - but I chose to call him Sebastian. Actually, Sebastian Bach since all of our guys have middle names. Ok - the Bach part is odd. But beagles make beautiful music and so did Bach. May little Sebastian rest in peace.
We would all like to be buried out here on this property. Ron plotted out the spots for him, me, Shannon and Annie. This is my hearts desire - it is a beautiful spot facing the east and overlooking what I like to call my Psalms 23 view. I may be alive for another 40 years - but I love it out here and really don't want to leave. This is where I plan to die when the time comes. You would have to understand the story behind how we came to find this house in the country and all the hell we went through before we got here. I firmly believe that God brought us here - this was our refuge and little did we know it would be our refuge through more than one storm. That said - I don't know how Ohio law feels about my being buried out here and we have to find a way to actually get a loan for this house first. If it turns out that I might actually die of this cancer - then my one wish, next to going to see my sister in Wichita for a week, is to find a way to get this house in my husbands name.
Being told you have cancer over and over again makes you do some serious thinking. I have thought a lot about what happens if I die from this. We are in our 30's and never did any pre-planning for a burial or funeral. So - I want to keep it simple. I do know that I want a service here on the property - a celebration of my life. I want my favorite music playing and tons of my favorite foods for people to eat. I want people to share stories about me - and instead of crying I want to hear laughter as they remember some of the stupid things I have done through the years. I want people to remember my sense of humor - the way I could find a silver lining in most any circumstance. I want to be remembered as the girl who loved animals - the girl who would cry over a beagle that she didn't even know.
I don't have a good feeling about my cancer. I am just being honest. But, that doesn't mean that God won't intervene and give me a little help. Personally I would like to stick around for many more years just to see what happens. I love life - always have. Even when the chips are down - even when things are so unbearable and it seems there is no way out of a bad situation - I have always loved life. What a precious gift it is too. A gift that I cherish each day.
It is almost time for Shannon to have her breakfast - she is laying on the floor not far from me and just staring at me. She has been ready for breakfast since she got me up at 5am. She is like a toddler that never grows up. Annie is sound asleep and I can hear Ron snoring from the bedroom. That is the way it goes in our house - Shannon always chooses me to burn the midnight oil with. She doesn't care if it is 2am or 5am - if she is awake and bored, then she feels her mommy should be up along with her. Little does Shannon know, we are going back to bed after breakfast!
Today is an exciting day. We get our stove and frig tonite. I finally get to pop something in the oven for supper. And I just might make some Christmas cookies too. Though it is not the most healthy choice for me - I have really been hungry for a little plate of french fries hot from the oven. Bon Appetite!