The new me and the old me - not sure who is who anymore.
Let me start by giving you some quotes from my mood swing moments today here at home, thanks to the steroids:
To Jack tonight: “Get your feet off the damn TV cabinet, you will completely break what’s left of the doors!!!! I don’t want to see you touching that again!!” His response, a sheepish, “OK, daddy.” Nice.
To Tess after she refused to stay in her bed: “I swear if I come up here again and find you in the baby’s crib I will shut the lights and make YOU SLEEP IN THE DARK!!!!” She gave me a tearful nod. I felt horrible.
I apologized to both kids for my ridiculous behavior tonight. I cannot control this anger at times and I am thankful that I am beginning to get weaned off these mindbending steroids starting in about two hours. I don’t even know who I am at times any longer. Any little change or noise sets me off and it seems that people run for cover. I remember sitting in the hospital waiting to pick a fight with someone but they were all so out of it in the neuro ward. So I sat there, angrily quiet while the steroids ravaged my brain.
The main drug I am on now is called Decadron, the steroid that decreases swelling in my brain but also produces these great side effects:
- Increased appetite
- Mood swings
- Irritability
- Difficulty sleeping (insomnia)
- Swelling in your ankles and feet (fluid retention)
- Heartburn
- Muscle weakness
- Impaired wound healing
- Increased blood sugar levels
I have felt all of these every damn day I have been on this drug. It is horrible and I wind up thinking about Roger Clemens often and why anyone, especially him, would take these steroids by choice. His beaning Mike Piazza in 2000, the throwing of the splintered bat at Piazza while he ran towards first, all roid rage examples showing his abuse of the drugs. Amazing that anyone would do this by choice.
Most of the time I just want to be in a cave, raging from the rest of the world, like the Hulk. Thankfully though, tomorrow I will feel a bit more like Bruce Banner instead.
The new me and the old me - not sure who is who anymore.
Let me start by giving you some quotes from my mood swing moments today here at home, thanks to the steroids:
To Jack tonight: “Get your feet off the damn TV cabinet, you will completely break what’s left of the doors!!!! I don’t want to see you touching that again!!” His response, a sheepish, “OK, daddy.” Nice.
To Tess after she refused to stay in her bed: “I swear if I come up here again and find you in the baby’s crib I will shut the lights and make YOU SLEEP IN THE DARK!!!!” She gave me a tearful nod. I felt horrible.
I apologized to both kids for my ridiculous behavior tonight. I cannot control this anger at times and I am thankful that I am beginning to get weaned off these mindbending steroids starting in about two hours. I don’t even know who I am at times any longer. Any little change or noise sets me off and it seems that people run for cover. I remember sitting in the hospital waiting to pick a fight with someone but they were all so out of it in the neuro ward. So I sat there, angrily quiet while the steroids ravaged my brain.
The main drug I am on now is called Decadron, the steroid that decreases swelling in my brain but also produces these great side effects:
- Increased appetite
- Mood swings
- Irritability
- Difficulty sleeping (insomnia)
- Swelling in your ankles and feet (fluid retention)
- Heartburn
- Muscle weakness
- Impaired wound healing
- Increased blood sugar levels
I have felt all of these every damn day I have been on this drug. It is horrible and I wind up thinking about Roger Clemens often and why anyone, especially him, would take these steroids by choice. His beaning Mike Piazza in 2000, the throwing of the splintered bat at Piazza while he ran towards first, all roid rage examples showing his abuse of the drugs. Amazing that anyone would do this by choice.
Most of the time I just want to be in a cave, raging from the rest of the world, like the Hulk. Thankfully though, tomorrow I will feel a bit more like Bruce Banner instead.
The new me and the old me - not sure who is who anymore.
Let me start by giving you some quotes from my mood swing moments today here at home, thanks to the steroids:
To Jack tonight: “Get your feet off the damn TV cabinet, you will completely break what’s left of the doors!!!! I don’t want to see you touching that again!!” His response, a sheepish, “OK, daddy.” Nice.
To Tess after she refused to stay in her bed: “I swear if I come up here again and find you in the baby’s crib I will shut the lights and make YOU SLEEP IN THE DARK!!!!” She gave me a tearful nod. I felt horrible.
I apologized to both kids for my ridiculous behavior tonight. I cannot control this anger at times and I am thankful that I am beginning to get weaned off these mindbending steroids starting in about two hours. I don’t even know who I am at times any longer. Any little change or noise sets me off and it seems that people run for cover. I remember sitting in the hospital waiting to pick a fight with someone but they were all so out of it in the neuro ward. So I sat there, angrily quiet while the steroids ravaged my brain.
The main drug I am on now is called Decadron, the steroid that decreases swelling in my brain but also produces these great side effects:
I have felt all of these every damn day I have been on this drug. It is horrible and I wind up thinking about Roger Clemens often and why anyone, especially him, would take these steroids by choice. His beaning Mike Piazza in 2000, the throwing of the splintered bat at Piazza while he ran towards first, all roid rage examples showing his abuse of the drugs. Amazing that anyone would do this by choice.
Most of the time I just want to be in a cave, raging from the rest of the world, like the Hulk. Thankfully though, tomorrow I will feel a bit more like Bruce Banner instead.
The new me and the old me - not sure who is who anymore.
Let me start by giving you some quotes from my mood swing moments today here at home, thanks to the steroids:
To Jack tonight: “Get your feet off the damn TV cabinet, you will completely break what’s left of the doors!!!! I don’t want to see you touching that again!!” His response, a sheepish, “OK, daddy.” Nice.
To Tess after she refused to stay in her bed: “I swear if I come up here again and find you in the baby’s crib I will shut the lights and make YOU SLEEP IN THE DARK!!!!” She gave me a tearful nod. I felt horrible.
I apologized to both kids for my ridiculous behavior tonight. I cannot control this anger at times and I am thankful that I am beginning to get weaned off these mindbending steroids starting in about two hours. I don’t even know who I am at times any longer. Any little change or noise sets me off and it seems that people run for cover. I remember sitting in the hospital waiting to pick a fight with someone but they were all so out of it in the neuro ward. So I sat there, angrily quiet while the steroids ravaged my brain.
The main drug I am on now is called Decadron, the steroid that decreases swelling in my brain but also produces these great side effects:
I have felt all of these every damn day I have been on this drug. It is horrible and I wind up thinking about Roger Clemens often and why anyone, especially him, would take these steroids by choice. His beaning Mike Piazza in 2000, the throwing of the splintered bat at Piazza while he ran towards first, all roid rage examples showing his abuse of the drugs. Amazing that anyone would do this by choice.
Most of the time I just want to be in a cave, raging from the rest of the world, like the Hulk. Thankfully though, tomorrow I will feel a bit more like Bruce Banner instead.