I'm having an incredibly hard day with things, right now.
I miss Vivienne. She should be ONE now. She should have a pony. She should be walking, and babbling and smiling and laughing and watching WonderPets and playing with her Daddy. I should be able to hold that perfect, super-human, wunderkind, my Queenling, in my arms. Why is that too much to ask?
Usually I'm pretty good with trucking along and focusing on what needs to be done. Staying positive, acting it even when I don't feel it, has become my mantra. Maybe I'm worn down from being so sick the past week and a half, but all I've been able to think that whole time is how humiliating it is that a simple cold can knock me down when CANCER never knocked Vivi back a single step. She should be here, not me. Preferably, she should be here and never be sick a day in her life because she's JUST. THAT. GOOD.
I love her. I want her smiles, and her laughter and I want to feel her snuggling and wiggling and her heart beat and her cute, yummy, baby breath. Now.
I miss Vivienne. She should be ONE now. She should have a pony. She should be walking, and babbling and smiling and laughing and watching WonderPets and playing with her Daddy. I should be able to hold that perfect, super-human, wunderkind, my Queenling, in my arms. Why is that too much to ask?
Usually I'm pretty good with trucking along and focusing on what needs to be done. Staying positive, acting it even when I don't feel it, has become my mantra. Maybe I'm worn down from being so sick the past week and a half, but all I've been able to think that whole time is how humiliating it is that a simple cold can knock me down when CANCER never knocked Vivi back a single step. She should be here, not me. Preferably, she should be here and never be sick a day in her life because she's JUST. THAT. GOOD.
I love her. I want her smiles, and her laughter and I want to feel her snuggling and wiggling and her heart beat and her cute, yummy, baby breath. Now.