This is the most 'morning' cheer that I can muster so far today. Been a painful night again. Yesterday morning my kidney had me wide awake at 3:30am - at least I got to sleep 9 1/2 hours through the night last night. The pain was still there - but I was so exhausted.
Not a whole lot of new updates right now other than an appointment with an OB/GYN clinic - that, Thank God, has a sliding scale fee - this upcoming Friday (November 13th - a Friday of all things) at 1:45pm. Hard to tell what they will say - but I am hoping for some mention of a needle aspiration of what is in the ovarian cystic mass and possibly another CA-125 blood test.
I am puzzled by the fact that we did a CA-125 blood test - presumably a good indicator of ovarian cancer - and it was normal in May. Perhaps what is in the ovary is RCC - which a CA-125 test wouldn't pick up. Again - I am presuming. The fact that I haven't given a thought to my right ovary or what is growing just below it since May bears a striking resemblence to the way I didn't give much thought to my right kidney during the months of April through November 2008. The PET scan said there was no activity - in my mind, I knew that PET scans were not conclusive when it comes to kidney cancer because RCC doesn't necessarily do the whole sugar uptake the way other cancers do. And other than having some discomfort - then some downright painful episodes - I chocked it up to not being much of anything.
So - here we are. Cancer in the kidney - liver lesions seem to still be stable - growth in the kidney as well as the enlarged upper and lower abdominal lymph nodes and for the icing on the cake - 'something' near my ovary. I hate the term 'something'. I just want to know what it is. Either it is something to worry about - or it isn't. Anyway you slice it though - I still have cancer. To look at me you wouldn't know - at least not really. Sure, I may look tired - I may wince in pain a little after sitting too long. But - I am still me - and all that there is of me aside from the cancer.
I keep my sense of humor intact. I still have my zest for life. I still want to be as normal as possible - which means working. I want to work, get groceries, run to the library and put gas in the truck. All the little errands and life chores that make anyone else 'normal' - that is what I want for me. When I completely stop doing those things - then you know that something is wrong.
Ah - the weekend again. This week went by fast. We have the 2nd season of Ice Road Truckers on DVD from the library - so when I am not working this weekend - I will be parked in my recliner watching truckers drive a bunch of equipment across the ice roads way way up north. It doesn't take much to entertain me :) I also can't wait for another season of Deadliest Catch to come out on DVD. Gotta love that crab fishing :)
Not a whole lot of new updates right now other than an appointment with an OB/GYN clinic - that, Thank God, has a sliding scale fee - this upcoming Friday (November 13th - a Friday of all things) at 1:45pm. Hard to tell what they will say - but I am hoping for some mention of a needle aspiration of what is in the ovarian cystic mass and possibly another CA-125 blood test.
I am puzzled by the fact that we did a CA-125 blood test - presumably a good indicator of ovarian cancer - and it was normal in May. Perhaps what is in the ovary is RCC - which a CA-125 test wouldn't pick up. Again - I am presuming. The fact that I haven't given a thought to my right ovary or what is growing just below it since May bears a striking resemblence to the way I didn't give much thought to my right kidney during the months of April through November 2008. The PET scan said there was no activity - in my mind, I knew that PET scans were not conclusive when it comes to kidney cancer because RCC doesn't necessarily do the whole sugar uptake the way other cancers do. And other than having some discomfort - then some downright painful episodes - I chocked it up to not being much of anything.
So - here we are. Cancer in the kidney - liver lesions seem to still be stable - growth in the kidney as well as the enlarged upper and lower abdominal lymph nodes and for the icing on the cake - 'something' near my ovary. I hate the term 'something'. I just want to know what it is. Either it is something to worry about - or it isn't. Anyway you slice it though - I still have cancer. To look at me you wouldn't know - at least not really. Sure, I may look tired - I may wince in pain a little after sitting too long. But - I am still me - and all that there is of me aside from the cancer.
I keep my sense of humor intact. I still have my zest for life. I still want to be as normal as possible - which means working. I want to work, get groceries, run to the library and put gas in the truck. All the little errands and life chores that make anyone else 'normal' - that is what I want for me. When I completely stop doing those things - then you know that something is wrong.
Ah - the weekend again. This week went by fast. We have the 2nd season of Ice Road Truckers on DVD from the library - so when I am not working this weekend - I will be parked in my recliner watching truckers drive a bunch of equipment across the ice roads way way up north. It doesn't take much to entertain me :) I also can't wait for another season of Deadliest Catch to come out on DVD. Gotta love that crab fishing :)