There just comes this point where you realize it’s futile to fight the beast. It’s so much better to embrace it; love it. Eventually, you can envision it as a beastly neighbor boy that comes pounding on your door.
You think, “Crap.” but say, “Oh! Come on in. Here’s a hug. Destroy anything you want. Only I’m not going to feed you anything.”
For sure, he still eats some brains each and every time, but without my anxieties, or angers, or impulsive behaviors he gets bored and goes away much sooner and much more peaceably. Without the resistance and denial, I taste bad to him.
The trick being to train yourself to let go and float in a mental neutral. It takes time and practice. It’s hard, even now, to choose to be at peace, but it helps. Try it. If you don’t get it right this cycle, don’t worry. You can try again next time. And there’s always a next time.
So, I didn’t expect to see Scott dealing with these issues of bipolar, but here they are, blatant and screaming. They’ve been there since transplant, at least. I suppose something as major as a liver transplant could trigger a mental illness.
It’s just crappy that everyone has to find their own painful path to deal with it. But maybe he’s been through enough with me to assimilate my blazed trail. Or maybe that would be too easy.
Yeah. That would be too easy.
There just comes this point where you realize it’s futile to fight the beast. It’s so much better to embrace it; love it. Eventually, you can envision it as a beastly neighbor boy that comes pounding on your door.
You think, “Crap.” but say, “Oh! Come on in. Here’s a hug. Destroy anything you want. Only I’m not going to feed you anything.”
For sure, he still eats some brains each and every time, but without my anxieties, or angers, or impulsive behaviors he gets bored and goes away much sooner and much more peaceably. Without the resistance and denial, I taste bad to him.
The trick being to train yourself to let go and float in a mental neutral. It takes time and practice. It’s hard, even now, to choose to be at peace, but it helps. Try it. If you don’t get it right this cycle, don’t worry. You can try again next time. And there’s always a next time.
So, I didn’t expect to see Scott dealing with these issues of bipolar, but here they are, blatant and screaming. They’ve been there since transplant, at least. I suppose something as major as a liver transplant could trigger a mental illness.
It’s just crappy that everyone has to find their own painful path to deal with it. But maybe he’s been through enough with me to assimilate my blazed trail. Or maybe that would be too easy.
Yeah. That would be too easy.