My Anger Experience
Yes, I was an angry mofo growing up. Angry at the government, angry at my parents, angry at my peers, angry at the white man, angry, angry, angry, did I say I was angry. No judgment of myself and likewise no blame of others. Many of us have been taught at what to be angry at or that somehow each and everyone of us is justified in feeling angry or being angry. For example, if someone says something “mean” to you, you SHOULD be pissed off. Someone does not give you what you want, then you SHOULD be angry. You get fired from your job, then you SHOULD be angry. The government does to you or your “people” something that you do not like, then you SHOULD be angry. AIG gives more bonuses with taxpayer bailout money, then you SHOULD be angry. Someone gets a promotion that you felt you deserved, then you SHOULD be angry. Have I SHOULDED on you enough? Hey, I grew up under these belief systems and unconsciously adopted them. I am not saying these beliefs are bad or wrong but at a very early age I began to see the fruits or effects of my anger and limiting beliefs that kept me locked on a perpetual cycle of anger and resentment.
I grew in Bensalem, PA which is a small suburb outside of Philadelphia. I attended Catholic schools most of my life and I was usually the only Black in all-white environments. This never really affected me early on. I saw myself just as a regular kid with similar likes as my other “white” friends. Hey, we all liked pizza (Pizza Hut), LOL. I really did not have any concept of “Black” or “White”. I had heard about racism but it did not exist in my world. As time went on, I learned and believed that Blacks in this country were “victims” and since I was a victim too then I had to be on the lookout for my “White” oppressors. Since I had an “oppressor” too then it was natural that I be angry at them right? So had did this belief in victimhood manifest in my life and it manifested as arguments, conflicts, and other experiences where I felt victimized by whites. I believed people were out to get me whether it be the government, police, etc. Since I was a victim, then I had to fight back right? Of course I did. That is what I believed and I created all the evidence in the world that I was a victim and likewise all the reasons why I should be angry at my victimizers. Consequently, I was always complaining about what my victimizers were doing to me and my “people”. With that being said, that leads me into
Anger lesson number 1:
Your belief in victimhood will keep you locked in a perpetual cycle of anger, unhappiness, and resentment. You are not victim but if that is your belief then as an absolute creator, you will create more evidence to support your belief in victimhood.
Growing up, I also believed that the cause of my frustration and anger was external. In a sense, when something external was not pleasing to me then that is why I would be angry. If my mom did not buy something for Christmas, then I would be angry. If someone yelled or looked at me a certain way, then I would be angry. Consequently, I was a victim again. I believed the cause of my anger was external so therefore I was always at the whim of something external which is out of my control which thereby led to more uncontrollable anger. You always hear people “Why are you angry” and then the person will give an answer “Oh well I am in traffic and my boss pisses me off and blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah, blah”. If you believe that something external is in control of your anger then you have disempowered yourself and set yourself to have uncontrollable angry life experiences. Of course, you will have uncontrollable anger because you cannot control the world, your mate, your children, the government, your animals, or anything else external.
Anger lesson number 2:
Your belief in an external source of your anger will lead to a life of uncontrollable anger and unhappiness.
Earlier I mentioned the “should and should not” aspect of anger. “I am in traffic now so I should be angry”, “My daddy was not there for me so I should be angry”. We have a lot of beliefs on why we should be angry. Let me say this, the reasons why you say you should be angry are your rules but it does not have to be that way. I live in Atlanta, GA, one of the most traffic heavy towns in the country. Do I experience anger when I am in traffic? Rarely and when I do I know how to move beyond it. Ultimately, I have a choice I can be angry about my being in traffic or I can be happy even though I am in traffic. That choice will create two different results either way. In my choice to be angry via the Law of Attraction, I will expand my experience of anger which could mean getting into an accident, dropping coffee on myself, getting a stain on my new shirt, and on and on and on and on. That is the way the Law works, whatever you are “being” in the moment must expand for you. Likewise, I could be happy and receive an invitation for a free dinner, have some money making opportunities come my way, have my mate prepare a favorite meal of mine and on and on and on.
Anger Lesson 3:
There is a never a reason why you should be angry. I am saying that you should not experience anger because that is a judgment call too. I am saying that you have a choice in each and every moment to choose peace instead of anger and resentment.
On the flip side, many people feel as though like they should not be angry. “You should not be angry at them because they are your parents”, “It’s not right to be angry at the government you know” “You should not be angry at your company who pays you good money”. We have a lot of reasons why we should not be angry. Look, as much as help people move beyond their anger and resentment, I do experience anger, often times a lot. However the results do not show that because of what I do when I am aware I am experiencing anger (more about that later on). Anger exists inside of us too and there is nothing wrong with experiencing anger. I look at anger as a state of being which is inside of us, so I consider anger to be a natural experience. I used to one of those people who acted like I never experienced anger or that somehow my experience of anger was bad. That is all about my RESISTANCE to anger which is suppression. Suppressed anger usually manifests as accidents, passive aggressive behavior, “unintentionally” doing things that would “harm” others. This was a huge issue for me, I judged my experience of anger but through my judgment of anger I remained stuck in it.
Anger Lesson 4:
There is nothing wrong with experiencing anger or frustration but you can choose peace. When you do experience anger, you do not to have resist it or sweep it under the rug.
Over my life, the fruits of my anger have been racial conflicts, negative police experiences, violence in my relationships, having my car keyed once, having one of my locks (hair) pulled out once, conflicts between family, and the icing on the cake, the grinding my teeth for 11 years. I can say that my teeth grinding was a gift because it was something that got my attention to the ways I was being and then I really began to take some proactive steps towards it. As first, dentists had no clue why this was going on; neither did I and I used to have to wear an uncomfortable mouth guard at night. I used to grind my teeth so hard at night that people told me I sounded like a freight train coming down the tracks. I tried all kinds of natural remedies to deal with this problem too: essential oils, herbs, meditation, and none of those worked for me and I discovered that my results would always be consistent unless you are dealing with “cause”. I am not saying that those tools could not work or do not work though. My teeth grinding used to keep people up and it negatively impacted my relationships. I was exposed to the metaphysics behind this almost 3 years ago and I immediately went into that defensive mode, I am not an angry person. Yeaaah right!! I was an angry mofo and I can admit this now. Even when I was exposed to the Law of Attraction, this did not quell that anger fire within me. It actually seemed to get worse because I used to try so hard to be happy that I was always trying to push down my anger. Now, what are some of the other effects of anger: Cancer, vaginal dryness, high blood pressure, and pains. I think the cancer part is enough for me to really get serious about move beyond my anger.
Now, I do not have any conflicts with anyone; have total peace with my family and myself. Now no accidents, no violence, no drama and no teeth grinding. I did all this without anger management classes, drugs, or any other external substance. It is a matter of understanding the cause of anger and thereby changing the effects or your results. We live in a cause and effect world, nothing is by accident and everything is perfect. Through my awareness and ACCEPTANCE of anger, it has expanded peace in my world. Yes, I accepted anger. Go here for more info on that concept:
http://curtisduncan.blogspot.com/2009/03/what-is-cause-of-your-reality.html. I know you might be thinking well if I accept anger then it will make it stronger but the opposite is true. The opposite of resisting something is to accept something and accepting is really loving something and the presence of love will always melt away anger, resentment, and frustration. Helping people move beyond anger into peace is one of my passions and I firmly believe that my unique approach to anger and resentment which incorporates the Law of Attraction and some of the information from the fantastic book “The Course in Miracles” could dramatically change your life. Go here for more info on my upcoming teleclass:
http://curtisduncan.blogspot.com/2009/03/from-anger-to-peace.html. You can also shoot me an email at
curtisl_duncan@yahoo.com for information and questions. Thanks for reading and peace be unto you!!
Yes, I was an angry mofo growing up. Angry at the government, angry at my parents, angry at my peers, angry at the white man, angry, angry, angry, did I say I was angry. No judgment of myself and likewise no blame of others. Many of us have been taught at what to be angry at or that somehow each and everyone of us is justified in feeling angry or being angry. For example, if someone says something “mean” to you, you SHOULD be pissed off. Someone does not give you what you want, then you SHOULD be angry. You get fired from your job, then you SHOULD be angry. The government does to you or your “people” something that you do not like, then you SHOULD be angry. AIG gives more bonuses with taxpayer bailout money, then you SHOULD be angry. Someone gets a promotion that you felt you deserved, then you SHOULD be angry. Have I SHOULDED on you enough? Hey, I grew up under these belief systems and unconsciously adopted them. I am not saying these beliefs are bad or wrong but at a very early age I began to see the fruits or effects of my anger and limiting beliefs that kept me locked on a perpetual cycle of anger and resentment.
I grew in Bensalem, PA which is a small suburb outside of Philadelphia. I attended Catholic schools most of my life and I was usually the only Black in all-white environments. This never really affected me early on. I saw myself just as a regular kid with similar likes as my other “white” friends. Hey, we all liked pizza (Pizza Hut), LOL. I really did not have any concept of “Black” or “White”. I had heard about racism but it did not exist in my world. As time went on, I learned and believed that Blacks in this country were “victims” and since I was a victim too then I had to be on the lookout for my “White” oppressors. Since I had an “oppressor” too then it was natural that I be angry at them right? So had did this belief in victimhood manifest in my life and it manifested as arguments, conflicts, and other experiences where I felt victimized by whites. I believed people were out to get me whether it be the government, police, etc. Since I was a victim, then I had to fight back right? Of course I did. That is what I believed and I created all the evidence in the world that I was a victim and likewise all the reasons why I should be angry at my victimizers. Consequently, I was always complaining about what my victimizers were doing to me and my “people”. With that being said, that leads me into
Anger lesson number 1:
Your belief in victimhood will keep you locked in a perpetual cycle of anger, unhappiness, and resentment. You are not victim but if that is your belief then as an absolute creator, you will create more evidence to support your belief in victimhood.
Growing up, I also believed that the cause of my frustration and anger was external. In a sense, when something external was not pleasing to me then that is why I would be angry. If my mom did not buy something for Christmas, then I would be angry. If someone yelled or looked at me a certain way, then I would be angry. Consequently, I was a victim again. I believed the cause of my anger was external so therefore I was always at the whim of something external which is out of my control which thereby led to more uncontrollable anger. You always hear people “Why are you angry” and then the person will give an answer “Oh well I am in traffic and my boss pisses me off and blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah, blah”. If you believe that something external is in control of your anger then you have disempowered yourself and set yourself to have uncontrollable angry life experiences. Of course, you will have uncontrollable anger because you cannot control the world, your mate, your children, the government, your animals, or anything else external.
Anger lesson number 2:
Your belief in an external source of your anger will lead to a life of uncontrollable anger and unhappiness.
Earlier I mentioned the “should and should not” aspect of anger. “I am in traffic now so I should be angry”, “My daddy was not there for me so I should be angry”. We have a lot of beliefs on why we should be angry. Let me say this, the reasons why you say you should be angry are your rules but it does not have to be that way. I live in Atlanta, GA, one of the most traffic heavy towns in the country. Do I experience anger when I am in traffic? Rarely and when I do I know how to move beyond it. Ultimately, I have a choice I can be angry about my being in traffic or I can be happy even though I am in traffic. That choice will create two different results either way. In my choice to be angry via the Law of Attraction, I will expand my experience of anger which could mean getting into an accident, dropping coffee on myself, getting a stain on my new shirt, and on and on and on and on. That is the way the Law works, whatever you are “being” in the moment must expand for you. Likewise, I could be happy and receive an invitation for a free dinner, have some money making opportunities come my way, have my mate prepare a favorite meal of mine and on and on and on.
Anger Lesson 3:
There is a never a reason why you should be angry. I am saying that you should not experience anger because that is a judgment call too. I am saying that you have a choice in each and every moment to choose peace instead of anger and resentment.
On the flip side, many people feel as though like they should not be angry. “You should not be angry at them because they are your parents”, “It’s not right to be angry at the government you know” “You should not be angry at your company who pays you good money”. We have a lot of reasons why we should not be angry. Look, as much as help people move beyond their anger and resentment, I do experience anger, often times a lot. However the results do not show that because of what I do when I am aware I am experiencing anger (more about that later on). Anger exists inside of us too and there is nothing wrong with experiencing anger. I look at anger as a state of being which is inside of us, so I consider anger to be a natural experience. I used to one of those people who acted like I never experienced anger or that somehow my experience of anger was bad. That is all about my RESISTANCE to anger which is suppression. Suppressed anger usually manifests as accidents, passive aggressive behavior, “unintentionally” doing things that would “harm” others. This was a huge issue for me, I judged my experience of anger but through my judgment of anger I remained stuck in it.
Anger Lesson 4:
There is nothing wrong with experiencing anger or frustration but you can choose peace. When you do experience anger, you do not to have resist it or sweep it under the rug.
Over my life, the fruits of my anger have been racial conflicts, negative police experiences, violence in my relationships, having my car keyed once, having one of my locks (hair) pulled out once, conflicts between family, and the icing on the cake, the grinding my teeth for 11 years. I can say that my teeth grinding was a gift because it was something that got my attention to the ways I was being and then I really began to take some proactive steps towards it. As first, dentists had no clue why this was going on; neither did I and I used to have to wear an uncomfortable mouth guard at night. I used to grind my teeth so hard at night that people told me I sounded like a freight train coming down the tracks. I tried all kinds of natural remedies to deal with this problem too: essential oils, herbs, meditation, and none of those worked for me and I discovered that my results would always be consistent unless you are dealing with “cause”. I am not saying that those tools could not work or do not work though. My teeth grinding used to keep people up and it negatively impacted my relationships. I was exposed to the metaphysics behind this almost 3 years ago and I immediately went into that defensive mode, I am not an angry person. Yeaaah right!! I was an angry mofo and I can admit this now. Even when I was exposed to the Law of Attraction, this did not quell that anger fire within me. It actually seemed to get worse because I used to try so hard to be happy that I was always trying to push down my anger. Now, what are some of the other effects of anger: Cancer, vaginal dryness, high blood pressure, and pains. I think the cancer part is enough for me to really get serious about move beyond my anger.
Now, I do not have any conflicts with anyone; have total peace with my family and myself. Now no accidents, no violence, no drama and no teeth grinding. I did all this without anger management classes, drugs, or any other external substance. It is a matter of understanding the cause of anger and thereby changing the effects or your results. We live in a cause and effect world, nothing is by accident and everything is perfect. Through my awareness and ACCEPTANCE of anger, it has expanded peace in my world. Yes, I accepted anger. Go here for more info on that concept: http://curtisduncan.blogspot.com/2009/03/what-is-cause-of-your-reality.html. I know you might be thinking well if I accept anger then it will make it stronger but the opposite is true. The opposite of resisting something is to accept something and accepting is really loving something and the presence of love will always melt away anger, resentment, and frustration. Helping people move beyond anger into peace is one of my passions and I firmly believe that my unique approach to anger and resentment which incorporates the Law of Attraction and some of the information from the fantastic book “The Course in Miracles” could dramatically change your life. Go here for more info on my upcoming teleclass: http://curtisduncan.blogspot.com/2009/03/from-anger-to-peace.html. You can also shoot me an email at curtisl_duncan@yahoo.com for information and questions. Thanks for reading and peace be unto you!!