Lately I've been contemplating the other "D" involved with Diabetes...Depression. I recently read an article entitled "Sweet Sorrow: The Relationship Between Depression and Diabetes Mellitus" that addresses the relationship between Diabetes and Depression, as well as its association with Diabetic complications.
But it's got me wondering...is there a line between chronic depression and the simple "down-and-outs" that anyone with a chronic disease feels? I know that there's a chemical correlation between Diabetes and Depression, that vicious cycle of one causing the excessiveness of the other. But how many of us are actually treated mentally as well as physically?
Now, don't get me wrong; I'm no psychiatrist, psychologist...psychwhosawhatsa with a PhD. But I can't ever recall a time when any doctor/CDE/health care worker ever asked me if I'm happy, if I feel I'm doing my best, if I'm satisfied with my best, if my self-confidence is intact and strong. And how many times do we just hear someone tell us "you're doing a Great job!"? I remember when I was a teenager and my principal wanted me to be checked for depression...I look back on that girl and I think to myself "was that clinical depression, or was it the scope of something much larger, a side-effect of Diabetes that isn't addressed?"
Self image. Self confidence. Self esteem. Who nurtures these things for us? Does Diabetes - or any chronic disease - set off a domino effect of debilitating our own self-image? As a kid, I was different than all the other kids, and different was bad. Separate. Oh, I was good at faking it; I walked around like I owned the world. But deep down inside, I just wasn't as good as everyone else. I was fortunate to have a mother who nurtured my self esteem and helped me to realize that I am strong and unbeatable...but if not for her, I would probably be caught in my own trap of believing that I'm just not worthy.
Not to mention that Diabetes is just plain HARD. It's a lot of frigging work. I'm a master at triaging and a self-proclaimed control freak. And it's expensive. And time-consuming. Stressful and scary. It's life amplified. Mortality acknowledged. And it has the ability to completely undermine one’s self confidence.
To me, knowledge is key. Knowing all that I can about every aspect of my disease then gives me power; an edge. But I wouldn't be privy to the in-depth knowledge that I have if not for my college education. Even the classes that I am required to take yearly at my local Diabetes Clinic don't offer that kind of learning. The internet seems to offer more than what should be attainable through our healthcare teams, our mandatory appointments and courses. And even those most have to ask for.
Add this all up and it begs the question (for me) of whether the issue then is not depression in a clinical sense, but a lack of belief in one’s self. A lack of workable information to supplement our sense of self control. In some ways, maybe even a (mistaken) concession to the futility of working against something that seems to be so powerful.
I don't suppose there will ever be a concrete answer to this, but it remains a compelling question and issue in my mind. How can one successfully cope with the rigors of Diabetes - of any chronic disease - if they don't truly believe that they are capable and deserve a 'normal' life? Could we be doing more for ourselves, demanding more? Could our healthcare providers be offering us more??
Lately I've been contemplating the other "D" involved with Diabetes...Depression. I recently read an article entitled "Sweet Sorrow: The Relationship Between Depression and Diabetes Mellitus" that addresses the relationship between Diabetes and Depression, as well as its association with Diabetic complications.
But it's got me wondering...is there a line between chronic depression and the simple "down-and-outs" that anyone with a chronic disease feels? I know that there's a chemical correlation between Diabetes and Depression, that vicious cycle of one causing the excessiveness of the other. But how many of us are actually treated mentally as well as physically?
Now, don't get me wrong; I'm no psychiatrist, psychologist...psychwhosawhatsa with a PhD. But I can't ever recall a time when any doctor/CDE/health care worker ever asked me if I'm happy, if I feel I'm doing my best, if I'm satisfied with my best, if my self-confidence is intact and strong. And how many times do we just hear someone tell us "you're doing a Great job!"? I remember when I was a teenager and my principal wanted me to be checked for depression...I look back on that girl and I think to myself "was that clinical depression, or was it the scope of something much larger, a side-effect of Diabetes that isn't addressed?"
Self image. Self confidence. Self esteem. Who nurtures these things for us? Does Diabetes - or any chronic disease - set off a domino effect of debilitating our own self-image? As a kid, I was different than all the other kids, and different was bad. Separate. Oh, I was good at faking it; I walked around like I owned the world. But deep down inside, I just wasn't as good as everyone else. I was fortunate to have a mother who nurtured my self esteem and helped me to realize that I am strong and unbeatable...but if not for her, I would probably be caught in my own trap of believing that I'm just not worthy.
Not to mention that Diabetes is just plain HARD. It's a lot of frigging work. I'm a master at triaging and a self-proclaimed control freak. And it's expensive. And time-consuming. Stressful and scary. It's life amplified. Mortality acknowledged. And it has the ability to completely undermine one’s self confidence.
To me, knowledge is key. Knowing all that I can about every aspect of my disease then gives me power; an edge. But I wouldn't be privy to the in-depth knowledge that I have if not for my college education. Even the classes that I am required to take yearly at my local Diabetes Clinic don't offer that kind of learning. The internet seems to offer more than what should be attainable through our healthcare teams, our mandatory appointments and courses. And even those most have to ask for.
Add this all up and it begs the question (for me) of whether the issue then is not depression in a clinical sense, but a lack of belief in one’s self. A lack of workable information to supplement our sense of self control. In some ways, maybe even a (mistaken) concession to the futility of working against something that seems to be so powerful.
I don't suppose there will ever be a concrete answer to this, but it remains a compelling question and issue in my mind. How can one successfully cope with the rigors of Diabetes - of any chronic disease - if they don't truly believe that they are capable and deserve a 'normal' life? Could we be doing more for ourselves, demanding more? Could our healthcare providers be offering us more??