I know that we are supposed to be relaxing at the lake but I just can't. I am having a really hard time since coming home from Mayo. I have been very emotional and all I want to do is just go back so that they can make Rick better. The possibility of adding more problems to the mix is driving me crazy. I am just so sad I can hardly take it. I look at Rick and think how can he possibly be so sick? And I am serious when I say that I better not hear anyone else say he doesn't look sick. That is the problem with all of this. He is so sick on the inside but doesn't look it from the outside.
I feel like I am going nuts waiting for test results. Rick finished the "pee" test today and we had it sent out to Mayo. I don't know how long it will take to hear back from them about that. I hope it doesn't take too long. That is the test that is going to tell us if there is copper in the urine. If there is we will probably be heading back to Mayo soon for a liver biopsy. I have made the decision that it is more important to get Rick good medical treatment than to have money. I don't know how we will continue to pay for our trips to Mayo but I know that he needs to go there for treatment.
I feel like I had so much inner strength when Rick really needed me to last week, but this week I am falling apart. I didn't realize how much energy it took to be strong for him and now I am exhausted and feel like I have been through the ringer. I can't believe he handles this so well. I am just scared that I will lose him to all of this. I don't know what I would do without him. I am just not strong enough to deal with all of this. I wish there was a way to fix it all now so that we can move on with our lives.
I know I must sound so pathetic. I am just teetering on the edge right now and I need to take a step back before I fall off. Please understand that I am not myself if you see me. I just need some time to absorb all that has taken place and figure out how to go from here. I love Rick so much. He is so wonderful to me and I am just so lucky to have him as my husband. I just want to hold on to him and never let go.
I hope that you will continue to keep us in your prayers. We both need them, even if Rick says he is fine.
I am going to head back to the lake this evening. Hopefully I will be able to start enjoying it a little bit more.
Until next time,
Jaime
I feel like I am going nuts waiting for test results. Rick finished the "pee" test today and we had it sent out to Mayo. I don't know how long it will take to hear back from them about that. I hope it doesn't take too long. That is the test that is going to tell us if there is copper in the urine. If there is we will probably be heading back to Mayo soon for a liver biopsy. I have made the decision that it is more important to get Rick good medical treatment than to have money. I don't know how we will continue to pay for our trips to Mayo but I know that he needs to go there for treatment.
I feel like I had so much inner strength when Rick really needed me to last week, but this week I am falling apart. I didn't realize how much energy it took to be strong for him and now I am exhausted and feel like I have been through the ringer. I can't believe he handles this so well. I am just scared that I will lose him to all of this. I don't know what I would do without him. I am just not strong enough to deal with all of this. I wish there was a way to fix it all now so that we can move on with our lives.
I know I must sound so pathetic. I am just teetering on the edge right now and I need to take a step back before I fall off. Please understand that I am not myself if you see me. I just need some time to absorb all that has taken place and figure out how to go from here. I love Rick so much. He is so wonderful to me and I am just so lucky to have him as my husband. I just want to hold on to him and never let go.
I hope that you will continue to keep us in your prayers. We both need them, even if Rick says he is fine.
I am going to head back to the lake this evening. Hopefully I will be able to start enjoying it a little bit more.
Until next time,
Jaime