Where it stands now.

I realized during my little mental sojourn that I am not that bright sometimes. I go off in a million different directions and accomplish nothing and then I have the temerity to sit and whine about never reaching my goals.

I seriously do not deserve a cookie.

I have this 'thing' where I am afraid to tell anyone my true goals because I might fail. Instead I run around doing everything and anything but what I want to do. So, here it is. I'm going for my MFA in Illustration. I want to write and illustrate graphic novels and and children's books. Writing and drawing are my absolute passions. I can't imagine life without them. I also want to teach art and writing. (Online because of the whole health thing.)

Before Crohn's dragged me rudely to earth and piled about a ton or two of bricks on me I taught computer classes at NAU. Website building, managing and simple coding languages like .html, javascript, CSS and JAVA. I loved teaching. I loved seeing the ah-ha moment when someone finally connected. I loved it when people who had walked into the classroom actually afraid of the computer shook off those fears and mastered the 'net with great pride. I always wanted to give them an admiral's hat and a sword and a medal. I was so proud of them.

The weird thing is, I HATED coding. I was good at it, but, I hated it. Hate! Hate! Hate! Want to hear something else stupid? I actually ran my own website design and management company and made good money at it and I HATED it every step of the way.

Now, why would I go and do something like that when I loved writing and art so much?

Because it had been drummed into me that it wasn't a 'real' job. Because I believed that something so wonderful wasn't for someone like me. Yeah...I know, don't ask. I get weird ideas some times.

Anyway, I'm tired of being an idiot and I'm going to pursue my dream whole hog. So to speak. (Isn't that a weird expression? Whole hog. Can you go half hog at something? Or maybe just stick a ham hock in?)

While working towards this goal some things are gong to need to change.

I'm still going to do Etsy, it's just going to take a while to get things in the store. As it is now, as soon as I make something it goes right out the door plus I have half-packed boxes of promised gifts, etc. all over the house.

So Many Stories is sadly going to have to take the back burner, however, I will help with different organizations and in other ways with giving other Autistics a voice.

So, here I go. I'm jumping off the deep end and going for it. Let's see if I can swim.