Only Time Can Tell

Some of the questions that goes through parents minds when they discover that their child will be born with Down syndrome is "How will this impact the life of my other child (or children)?", "Will my older child (or children) be teased about their sibling with Down syndrome?" "What happens if I die?", and "Who will care for my child after I die?" Well, I am hear to say that I asked those same questions. When I was pregnant with Gabi, no one had those answers for me. If your a parent expecting a child with Down syndrome or are a new parent of a child with Down syndrome, I am here to tell you "I don't know." It's not very comforting, is it? I can't pretend to know the fate of each person who goes through this, but I can give you my experiences that deal with those questions thus far.

Never once, to this day, has Jeremy ever been teased because of his sister that we know of. Jeremy is pretty open with us and wears his heart on his sleeve, so I believe he hasn't. Actually, I found the opposite happen, especially with little girls. If I picked up Jeremy from school and didn't bring Gabi with me, I would be met by little girls who would always ask "Where is Jeremy's sister?" They were always disappointed when they found out she wasn't there. The days I did bring her, they always played with her and tickled her. Jeremy would stand there with a prideful grin on his face, as I am sure I had, too.

As far as my son "suffering" because of his sister, I have never found that to be true either. You see, there is 7 years between their ages and Jeremy and Gabi still play well together. I just love to watch them play together. Jeremy is such a great big brother. He really knows how to interact well with his younger siblings. God has given this boy a very kind heart. Sure they argue and fight, they are siblings!

So, what happens after I die? Let me tell you this story first. I remember when I was a single mom and Gabi was 2 years old and Jeremy was 9. I came to Jeremy one day worried about what the future held for my daughter. The conversation went a little like this:

ME: Jeremy... one day... when your an adult... if something ever happened to me...(I didn't know quite how to ask my son the question that was tearing at my heart, and he interrupted me and said this next line.)
JEREMY: Mommy, don't worry. If something ever happened to you, I would take care of Gabi.

Now before I get attacked by any commenters about "burdening" a 9 year old with that kind of responsibility, let me just say this. First, I just wanted to have some security in hearing that at the time. I needed to hear it. I was in the middle of divorcing Gabi's father and knew he would never be there for her. Second, it doesn't mean that is what will happen. There are so many options. My parents and my husband are options right now, but circumstances change. You don't know what the future holds. Maybe Jeremy would be the most able person to care for Gabi when and if that time came.

But really, what's so wrong with him feeling some sense of being responsible of the "what if's?" I have a nephew who has mental and developmental delays. If something happened to my brother and sister-in-law, would I feel responsible for his care? Yes, of course! That is what family is for. My nephew is part of my family, and Gabi is Jeremy's sister.

Below are some videos of the interaction of Jeremy and Gabi just to show you he isn't "suffering" because of his sister. He loves her.











Don't forget to come back here every day starting the week of October 29th for more chances to enter myFall Y'all Bloggy Giveawayhosted by Shannon atRocks In My Dryer. I will have 5 giveaways that each commenter will be eligible for.