I got a phone call last night from the 13-year-old girl that I mentor. She asked if we were still going school shopping tonight. I had told her last week that I'd take her to buy underwear. I confirmed. And then she put her mom on the phone.
It seems that they've already been shopping for the required school uniform: khakis and white or burgundy polo shirts. On a limited budget with a less than reliable vehicle, the family doesn't have many options for shopping. Wal-Mart. Family Dollar. Resale shops. And to make it even more difficult, my kid is super morbidly obese. Last winter when I bought jeans from The Avenue for her, they were a size 30W. And I'm pretty sure she's gained weight since then.
Her mom said that they found men's polos for her at Wal-Mart...but they were too small. Did I have any ideas? Sure. But her mom wouldn't want to hear them. Ideas like...why do you LET her spend her money on potato chips? Why do you LET her have three helpings of mashed potatoes? Why do you LET her drink regular soda?
I know, I know. I am not a parent. But I was a fat kid. And I give my mom credit for trying to steer me in the right nutritional direction. She didn't buy crap. We didn't live in the ghetto, but my parents struggled on a laborer's income for a family of 5. There wasn't a lot of money. And when there was, it didn't go to junk food.
My eating problems were because I came up with my own ways to eat through adolescence. And I had to work hard at coming up with food for my fixes. (A great big apology to the Ashbeck family for all the Twix candy bars I ate when I babysat every Sunday night. Sorry about those Twinkies, too.)
My kid is 13, weighs over 275 pounds and stands only 5'2". When she went to the fair last week, they wouldn't let her on the midway rides. I don't think she even gets how big she is. I know she didn't understand why she couldn't ride the fast rides. Sweetie, the bar wouldn't close. It sucks, I know, to be 13 and want to be like the other kids. And you're not.
So what's my responsibility? Can I make a difference? I see her for four hours every week. When she's with me, we try to eat healthier foods and make sensible choices. I've talked about being the fat person in a crowd. Maybe I need to show her my fat high school pictures and tell her the horror stories of humiliation. Can I scare her into changing?
And what do I do about her mother? I know it must be difficult to feed a household of 13 people on food stamps, WIC and limited income. But how about buying 4 pounds of bananas for $2 instead of a bag of Cheetos for $3? How about no more sugar drinks?
I just see the writing on the wall for my kid. It ain't pretty. I feel so helpless.
I got a phone call last night from the 13-year-old girl that I mentor. She asked if we were still going school shopping tonight. I had told her last week that I'd take her to buy underwear. I confirmed. And then she put her mom on the phone.
It seems that they've already been shopping for the required school uniform: khakis and white or burgundy polo shirts. On a limited budget with a less than reliable vehicle, the family doesn't have many options for shopping. Wal-Mart. Family Dollar. Resale shops. And to make it even more difficult, my kid is super morbidly obese. Last winter when I bought jeans from The Avenue for her, they were a size 30W. And I'm pretty sure she's gained weight since then.
Her mom said that they found men's polos for her at Wal-Mart...but they were too small. Did I have any ideas? Sure. But her mom wouldn't want to hear them. Ideas like...why do you LET her spend her money on potato chips? Why do you LET her have three helpings of mashed potatoes? Why do you LET her drink regular soda?
I know, I know. I am not a parent. But I was a fat kid. And I give my mom credit for trying to steer me in the right nutritional direction. She didn't buy crap. We didn't live in the ghetto, but my parents struggled on a laborer's income for a family of 5. There wasn't a lot of money. And when there was, it didn't go to junk food.
My eating problems were because I came up with my own ways to eat through adolescence. And I had to work hard at coming up with food for my fixes. (A great big apology to the Ashbeck family for all the Twix candy bars I ate when I babysat every Sunday night. Sorry about those Twinkies, too.)
My kid is 13, weighs over 275 pounds and stands only 5'2". When she went to the fair last week, they wouldn't let her on the midway rides. I don't think she even gets how big she is. I know she didn't understand why she couldn't ride the fast rides. Sweetie, the bar wouldn't close. It sucks, I know, to be 13 and want to be like the other kids. And you're not.
So what's my responsibility? Can I make a difference? I see her for four hours every week. When she's with me, we try to eat healthier foods and make sensible choices. I've talked about being the fat person in a crowd. Maybe I need to show her my fat high school pictures and tell her the horror stories of humiliation. Can I scare her into changing?
And what do I do about her mother? I know it must be difficult to feed a household of 13 people on food stamps, WIC and limited income. But how about buying 4 pounds of bananas for $2 instead of a bag of Cheetos for $3? How about no more sugar drinks?
I just see the writing on the wall for my kid. It ain't pretty. I feel so helpless.