Leslie Goldman’s recent article on food blogging made me think of the countless hours I would spend looking at pictures of food at the height of my eating disorder. I called it food porn because, like a typical teenage male looking for pictures of naked girls to satisfy his libido, I used pictures of food to keep my hunger at bay. Mentally, I could not allow myself a slice of strawberry cheesecake (unless I purged it), but nothing in my mind stood in the way of drooling over pictures of the food I craved. The phrase, “You can look at the catalog all you want as long as you don’t order,” comes to mind.
Food porn, as satisfying as it was, did not always have the desired effect. Sometimes I felt hungrier. Sometimes I felt guilt because I couldn’t enjoy food in a non-virtual state. Sometimes I would use it in hopes that it would prevent a binge, only to bring it on. The zero-calorie value of food porn was a fact my brain could not ignore, and when your body has been starving long enough, your brain will send you in a frenzy into the kitchen - especially when you’ve been looking at and thinking about food for hours.
So, upon reading in Goldman’s piece that dieters are using food blogs as a way of controlling their caloric intake, red flashing lights started blaring in my mind. The idea of snapping a picture of every morsel that goes into your mouth appalls me. I don’t consider it a good way of training oneself into eating healthier. I see it as a perversion of food, maybe even the mere idea of food. Why? Because if I were still in the clutches of anorexia, I would think this is a fantastic idea. The following dialogue would run through my mind: “What better way to show everyone just how little I am taking in? Who among my fellow food bloggers will eat the least today? It better be me. ‘Thinner is the winner,’ right?”
Taking pictures of all foods consumed, all day, every day, is a food log times 1,000,000. Its potential to backfire on dieters - and anyone, for that matter - is huge. This is not food enjoyment. This is food abuse.
Fortunately, not all food blogs are about dieting and “getting healthier.” Some discuss food in a more intellectual context (and yes, include pictures of recently-tried recipes and perfected favorites). In particular, I like Ai Lu’s site. She is three years into her recovery from her eating disorder and blogs about food as a part of life in all of its contexts. Pictures of food are not the central purpose of her blog, but merely a part of it. Her blog has much more substance than “ just look at how delicious this is! ”
Sorry, Crepes of Wrath. I don’t mean to single you out. Your muffins do indeed look delicious. If I want a recipe, I’ll hit you up. But that’s all I will be looking for.
Leslie Goldman’s recent article on food blogging made me think of the countless hours I would spend looking at pictures of food at the height of my eating disorder. I called it food porn because, like a typical teenage male looking for pictures of naked girls to satisfy his libido, I used pictures of food to keep my hunger at bay. Mentally, I could not allow myself a slice of strawberry cheesecake (unless I purged it), but nothing in my mind stood in the way of drooling over pictures of the food I craved. The phrase, “You can look at the catalog all you want as long as you don’t order,” comes to mind.
Food porn, as satisfying as it was, did not always have the desired effect. Sometimes I felt hungrier. Sometimes I felt guilt because I couldn’t enjoy food in a non-virtual state. Sometimes I would use it in hopes that it would prevent a binge, only to bring it on. The zero-calorie value of food porn was a fact my brain could not ignore, and when your body has been starving long enough, your brain will send you in a frenzy into the kitchen - especially when you’ve been looking at and thinking about food for hours.
So, upon reading in Goldman’s piece that dieters are using food blogs as a way of controlling their caloric intake, red flashing lights started blaring in my mind. The idea of snapping a picture of every morsel that goes into your mouth appalls me. I don’t consider it a good way of training oneself into eating healthier. I see it as a perversion of food, maybe even the mere idea of food. Why? Because if I were still in the clutches of anorexia, I would think this is a fantastic idea. The following dialogue would run through my mind: “What better way to show everyone just how little I am taking in? Who among my fellow food bloggers will eat the least today? It better be me. ‘Thinner is the winner,’ right?”
Taking pictures of all foods consumed, all day, every day, is a food log times 1,000,000. Its potential to backfire on dieters - and anyone, for that matter - is huge. This is not food enjoyment. This is food abuse.
Fortunately, not all food blogs are about dieting and “getting healthier.” Some discuss food in a more intellectual context (and yes, include pictures of recently-tried recipes and perfected favorites). In particular, I like Ai Lu’s site. She is three years into her recovery from her eating disorder and blogs about food as a part of life in all of its contexts. Pictures of food are not the central purpose of her blog, but merely a part of it. Her blog has much more substance than “ just look at how delicious this is! ”
Sorry, Crepes of Wrath. I don’t mean to single you out. Your muffins do indeed look delicious. If I want a recipe, I’ll hit you up. But that’s all I will be looking for.