Sometimes they throw things.
Parents are understandably shocked by the vehemence with which their recovering children fight back when the choice to starve, or purge, is taken away. Behavior and words we never, EVER believed our lovely children would display can surface during early recovery. Yelling, throwing, raging, threats, trying to jump out of cars, violence . Yes, this really does happen.
I am shocked at how few parents are warned about this. And a little mad.
These reactions are signs of the child's extreme distress, not that parents are doing the wrong thing by "making them eat."
What is wrong is letting children get sicker and weaker because they don't get violent. What is wrong is letting kids continue to be malnourished after diagnosis.
However hard it is on us to see them this distressed - it is always harder on them.
It is hell, and sending the child to suffer that hell out of our sight doesn't make it better. In fact, think about it: what would you think of your loved ones if they sent you away because they couldn't stand to see you in such distress. And how safe would you feel on your return?
If parents are not warned and are not prepared for extreme resistance they might feel there is no choice but to give in to the child or give the child over to others. There are choices between those options, and there are strategies, but the first tool is being prepared.
Sometimes they throw things.
Parents are understandably shocked by the vehemence with which their recovering children fight back when the choice to starve, or purge, is taken away. Behavior and words we never, EVER believed our lovely children would display can surface during early recovery. Yelling, throwing, raging, threats, trying to jump out of cars, violence . Yes, this really does happen.
I am shocked at how few parents are warned about this. And a little mad.
These reactions are signs of the child's extreme distress, not that parents are doing the wrong thing by "making them eat."
What is wrong is letting children get sicker and weaker because they don't get violent. What is wrong is letting kids continue to be malnourished after diagnosis.
However hard it is on us to see them this distressed - it is always harder on them.
It is hell, and sending the child to suffer that hell out of our sight doesn't make it better. In fact, think about it: what would you think of your loved ones if they sent you away because they couldn't stand to see you in such distress. And how safe would you feel on your return?
If parents are not warned and are not prepared for extreme resistance they might feel there is no choice but to give in to the child or give the child over to others. There are choices between those options, and there are strategies, but the first tool is being prepared.