 Love yourself again. You meet the man of your dreams, or whatever.
He charms his way in, talks of hopes, dreams promises.
He treats you with the utmost respect.
He shares his life story, you share yours, believing complete honesty is the most important value to you.
He tells you how wonderful, intelligent and beautiful you are too him.
He persuades you to put complete trust in him, you feel valued and loved, you commit giving him 110%.When you find out he has told you a pack of lies, he begs for forgiveness.
When he starts putting you down, you start to believe it, and try harder to please.
When he imposes rules on you, he himself doesn't follow, you become confused.
When you find out he cheats, he denies it telling you that you are crazy, you must be?
Because he said it..
When he tells you not to drink to much milk, or use too much toilet paper, or have heating on in winter while your breast feeding your baby at 2.am, because he's broke and you find a diamond ring in the cupboard(for another woman) with thousands of pounds....
You wonder why your still around.
When you come home a bit late from visiting a girl friend for the first time in months and he locks the gate causing you to climb a six foot fence in the rain with your baby strapped to your chest, he calls you a prostitute.
You wonder what planet you are on.
When he calls you stupid, lazy, fat, a nothing, you cry alone, as he has isolated you from everyone.
When he pushes you around, gives you a slap, holds you or kicks you up the bum, and he says you deserve it. You cry terrified in the foetal position. He says he will never do it again.
You want to believe him.
When you leave him, and he stalks you, gets private detectives, and calls all your friends with his sob story....
you want to disappear, but you cant because he always tracks you down.
When his parents blame you for him being locked up by the police and say "you should have kept it in the bedroom".
You just realised why he thinks like he does.
When he breeches the protection Order over 100 times, and the courts let him off.
You wonder where the Justice is.
When he attends anger management then uses the tools against you, finally you realise if they cant change his behaviour, 'either can I'.
When you think you have began to heal with help from Women's refuge, he takes you to court for years on end to take your child, he hopes to drive you crazy to get custody.
You wonder if it will ever end.
There never was love, you were just a possession.
There never was security or trust... he believed he owned you.
When he told you all those horrible things...
it was to belittle, control you, and strip your identity.
He tells you its "a man thing to cheat", "You could be the most amazing woman in the world, but the grass is always greener", you do believe him.
When you finally break free and can breathe and be yourself again, you are alive.
If you identify with any of these things then you may be at risk. If you find your self working harder and harder at staying with a person hoping for change, it wont happen unless something massive within themselves change. If you don't know who you are any more, Mental abuse can be the worst form of abuse, it paralyses you, where no one else can see it!
Your not alone. Your not worthless, hopeless, or unlovable, your abused. Seek help and find yourself again.
If you feel you still love them too much, or to scared to leave and have kids ask yourself, do you want your daughter feeling the way you do in ten years time? Or your son growing up to beat his spouse? This is where the cycle begins. Remember you didn't ask for this, its not your fault.
Love Kirst xoxoxo
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You meet the man of your dreams, or whatever.
He charms his way in, talks of hopes, dreams promises.
He treats you with the utmost respect.
He shares his life story, you share yours, believing complete honesty is the most important value to you.
He tells you how wonderful, intelligent and beautiful you are too him.
He persuades you to put complete trust in him, you feel valued and loved, you commit giving him 110%.
When you find out he has told you a pack of lies, he begs for forgiveness.
When he starts putting you down, you start to believe it, and try harder to please.
When he imposes rules on you, he himself doesn't follow, you become confused.
When you find out he cheats, he denies it telling you that you are crazy, you must be?
Because he said it..
When he tells you not to drink to much milk, or use too much toilet paper, or have heating on in winter while your breast feeding your baby at 2.am, because he's broke and you find a diamond ring in the cupboard(for another woman) with thousands of pounds....
You wonder why your still around.
When you come home a bit late from visiting a girl friend for the first time in months and he locks the gate causing you to climb a six foot fence in the rain with your baby strapped to your chest, he calls you a prostitute.
You wonder what planet you are on.
When he calls you stupid, lazy, fat, a nothing, you cry alone, as he has isolated you from everyone.
When he pushes you around, gives you a slap, holds you or kicks you up the bum, and he says you deserve it. You cry terrified in the foetal position. He says he will never do it again.
You want to believe him.
When you leave him, and he stalks you, gets private detectives, and calls all your friends with his sob story....
you want to disappear, but you cant because he always tracks you down.
When his parents blame you for him being locked up by the police and say "you should have kept it in the bedroom".
You just realised why he thinks like he does.
When he breeches the protection Order over 100 times, and the courts let him off.
You wonder where the Justice is.
When he attends anger management then uses the tools against you, finally you realise if they cant change his behaviour, 'either can I'.
When you think you have began to heal with help from Women's refuge, he takes you to court for years on end to take your child, he hopes to drive you crazy to get custody.
You wonder if it will ever end.
There never was love, you were just a possession.
There never was security or trust... he believed he owned you.
When he told you all those horrible things...
it was to belittle, control you, and strip your identity.
He tells you its "a man thing to cheat", "You could be the most amazing woman in the world, but the grass is always greener", you do believe him.
When you finally break free and can breathe and be yourself again, you are alive.
If you identify with any of these things then you may be at risk. If you find your self working harder and harder at staying with a person hoping for change, it wont happen unless something massive within themselves change. If you don't know who you are any more, Mental abuse can be the worst form of abuse, it paralyses you, where no one else can see it!
Your not alone. Your not worthless, hopeless, or unlovable, your abused. Seek help and find yourself again.
If you feel you still love them too much, or to scared to leave and have kids ask yourself, do you want your daughter feeling the way you do in ten years time? Or your son growing up to beat his spouse? This is where the cycle begins. Remember you didn't ask for this, its not your fault.
Love Kirst xoxoxo