 Dr Mengele performed nasty surgeries and experiments in Auschwitz. I had my Hospital appointment today. It started well. I parked the car, popped on my head phones busting out some groovy beats on my Ipod to distract my mind from where I was going. My bladder and back were giving me labour like pains, but I felt o.k, drugged up for the pain yet nervous.
So I tried to power walk out any lingering anxiety. It worked.
The surgeon does his usual "How are you doing?" spiel, I reply with body language and a grimace which would have looked good on a mouse trying to pooh corn(whole). I mean what can you say, "hey I'm feeling great, just loving being here", no I hate the place, and don't want to be there.
He and I discussed the stone, and the leakage and all in sundry. Except the original plan from my last appointment has changed. Where I was supposed to have Uro Dynamics to assess the leak obviously isn't happening.
No I wont be having one procedure to fix both problems.
Oh and I cant see an end to all of this B.S because now in 6-8 weeks I go in for a Day Surgery case to blast the stone and remove through the stoma, efferent limb, what ever the hell it is.
Then we waiiiiit again for god only knows how long to see if the infections settle and the leakage improves without the stone. Then we go back to the original plan of fixing the leakage if it is still an issue!!!
I don't see this being resolved by the end of this year at this rate.
Not only that it started leaking before the catheter even came out after surgery last year, there wasn't a stone then...
I am starting to believe that due to the Hospital having to lower its budget (which would be lower if Dr Mengeledidn't keeping botching patients) that we patients maybe bearing the brunt of it.
I cried (no surprise there), I whined, he mentioned that the bad stuff is in the past, I returned my opinion on it "NOT BEING ALL IN THE PAST because I'M still having to go through all this", crap, which I wouldn't be if Dr Mengele performed the surgery right in the first place!
My poor surgeon was already having a bad day, I'm sure I had just made it worse.
I did feel empathy for him through my tears, as I informed him of my complaint to the Health and Disability Commission.
I was planning on sharing this information while cool, calm and collected.
Nope it didn't work and I looked like a dick with mascara flowing down my face, I really hate crying in public.
If I had the money I would go private and end all of this bloody disaster.
That place is just a big Post Traumatic Stress Disorder having a wet dream, in other words a mess.
I shared the information because I believe in honesty and also because of the way I was treated by certain staff after my last surgery when it was assumed I had laid a complaint, I feared it would be made worse now they knew I had laid a complaint.
He reassured me, and all that, but it doesn't change the fact I don't see any of this being resolved in the near future.
I can take A. Bs but while the stone is there, well the infection will just be back. I have morphine occasionally, but I don't want that either.
I just want the bag gone, and the surgery that I had signed up for to be what its supposed to be.
I also am sick to death of things always changing or not following through, I have a life that I want to live and cant plan my future while this is all going on.
Bah! END. I have to concentrate on trying to finish my assignments.
|
I had my Hospital appointment today. It started well. I parked the car, popped on my head phones busting out some groovy beats on my Ipod to distract my mind from where I was going. My bladder and back were giving me labour like pains, but I felt o.k, drugged up for the pain yet nervous.
So I tried to power walk out any lingering anxiety. It worked.
The surgeon does his usual "How are you doing?" spiel, I reply with body language and a grimace which would have looked good on a mouse trying to pooh corn(whole). I mean what can you say, "hey I'm feeling great, just loving being here", no I hate the place, and don't want to be there.
He and I discussed the stone, and the leakage and all in sundry. Except the original plan from my last appointment has changed. Where I was supposed to have Uro Dynamics to assess the leak obviously isn't happening.
No I wont be having one procedure to fix both problems.
Oh and I cant see an end to all of this B.S because now in 6-8 weeks I go in for a Day Surgery case to blast the stone and remove through the stoma, efferent limb, what ever the hell it is.
Then we waiiiiit again for god only knows how long to see if the infections settle and the leakage improves without the stone. Then we go back to the original plan of fixing the leakage if it is still an issue!!!
I don't see this being resolved by the end of this year at this rate.
Not only that it started leaking before the catheter even came out after surgery last year, there wasn't a stone then...
I am starting to believe that due to the Hospital having to lower its budget (which would be lower if Dr Mengeledidn't keeping botching patients) that we patients maybe bearing the brunt of it.
I cried (no surprise there), I whined, he mentioned that the bad stuff is in the past, I returned my opinion on it "NOT BEING ALL IN THE PAST because I'M still having to go through all this", crap, which I wouldn't be if Dr Mengele performed the surgery right in the first place!
My poor surgeon was already having a bad day, I'm sure I had just made it worse.
I did feel empathy for him through my tears, as I informed him of my complaint to the Health and Disability Commission.
I was planning on sharing this information while cool, calm and collected.
Nope it didn't work and I looked like a dick with mascara flowing down my face, I really hate crying in public.
If I had the money I would go private and end all of this bloody disaster.
That place is just a big Post Traumatic Stress Disorder having a wet dream, in other words a mess.
I shared the information because I believe in honesty and also because of the way I was treated by certain staff after my last surgery when it was assumed I had laid a complaint, I feared it would be made worse now they knew I had laid a complaint.
He reassured me, and all that, but it doesn't change the fact I don't see any of this being resolved in the near future.
I can take A. Bs but while the stone is there, well the infection will just be back. I have morphine occasionally, but I don't want that either.
I just want the bag gone, and the surgery that I had signed up for to be what its supposed to be.
I also am sick to death of things always changing or not following through, I have a life that I want to live and cant plan my future while this is all going on.
Bah! END. I have to concentrate on trying to finish my assignments.