I'm feeling pretty good right now. My grief comes and goes. I'm trying not to let external situations determine whether or not I am at peace but I..am..still..human.
So, I'll go easy on myself and be happy with my current state of mind until I'm blindsided by sadness again.
Thank you all for
listening.
---
For those two or three of you that have been reading here for over a year, you will recall that I decided to take up cycling around this same time in 2008. I wrote about six parts of my adventures in cycling, starting with the
initial post on Feb. 25 of last year.
When I go back and read that post now, it seems like a completely different person. Funny how a
160 mile/two day biking tour can transform you from amateur to near pro!
(not that I'm nearly even that!) The 160 mile ride was my goal last year. My goal this year?
A triathlon. I definitely have the cycling bit down. The running? Check!
The swimming?!?
Yikes! Now I've been swimming since I was a youngster. I grew up on boats, camping and swimming in the lake. I am a certified scuba diver. I've been diving on the Great Barrier Reef!
But swimming laps in an Olympic sized pool scares the crap outta me! I'm not sure I was ever trained on how to swim laps. I also definitely don't get much practice swimming with two little girls either. The past 7 years or so, I've been perfectly content sitting under a shade canopy or on the steps of the pool with a margarita - while my little ones are swimming and/or bobbing around me.
And now... my first try at a tri is 2 1/2 weeks away. I only have to swim 10 minutes. No biggie, right?
It is not until June that I have to do an entire
1/2 mile swim.
Then I continue with a
12 mile bike ride and a
3 mile run before I'm done.
I not only have to get used to this swimming thing but also doing
3 different fitness activities in a row.
No time like the present to start preparing for
that! ---
Tonight I donned my new Speedo swimsuit and goggles and walked with much trepidation out of the locker room to the
seemingly endless lap pool.
"I can do this." I told myself. "After all, Soldier, who freakin' does the
Ironman, never even learned how to swim til he was 30 years old. I can do this."
I jumped in and began my first lap. Here's a little bit of what was going through my head:
Oh...my... GOD... this is hard! When do I breathe?!Gasp!! Choke!!Holy crap! **flips over on to my back**
Oh yes, this feels much better. Can't I just swim the laps on my back?Ok, 1/2 lap down. Damn this pool is LLLLOOOONNNGGG!I can do this! If I can conquer clipping into those pedals for cycling after falling over and over again, I can conquer this too.I begin my second half of the first lap. Face down, kicking, arms windmilling...Gasp!! Choke!! Pant!! Cough!!F*#k! These friggin' lifeguards are looking at me like I'm drowning! Argh! This is HARD! I continued swimming, flipping from my back to my front. Attempting a regular swimming stroke (
what's that called? Hello? Mr. Phelps?) and alternating with a breast stroke.
My heart was POUNDING in my chest.
I actually only stopped to rest briefly, maybe a minute here and there, but otherwise continued swimming for 25 minutes.
My arms are killing me! But I am very proud of myself, nonetheless. I think the more I do it, the less panicked I will be. And hopefully, the less panicked I am, I'll be swimming and breathing more efficiently.
I sure hope so.
Still, I think its time to take swim lessons. Again. At age 39.
I'm never too old to learn something new.
So, I'll go easy on myself and be happy with my current state of mind until I'm blindsided by sadness again.
Thank you all for listening.
---
For those two or three of you that have been reading here for over a year, you will recall that I decided to take up cycling around this same time in 2008. I wrote about six parts of my adventures in cycling, starting with the initial post on Feb. 25 of last year.
When I go back and read that post now, it seems like a completely different person. Funny how a 160 mile/two day biking tour can transform you from amateur to near pro! (not that I'm nearly even that!)
The 160 mile ride was my goal last year. My goal this year? A triathlon.
I definitely have the cycling bit down. The running? Check!
The swimming?!?
Yikes!
Now I've been swimming since I was a youngster. I grew up on boats, camping and swimming in the lake. I am a certified scuba diver. I've been diving on the Great Barrier Reef!
But swimming laps in an Olympic sized pool scares the crap outta me!
I'm not sure I was ever trained on how to swim laps. I also definitely don't get much practice swimming with two little girls either. The past 7 years or so, I've been perfectly content sitting under a shade canopy or on the steps of the pool with a margarita - while my little ones are swimming and/or bobbing around me.
And now... my first try at a tri is 2 1/2 weeks away.
I only have to swim 10 minutes. No biggie, right?
It is not until June that I have to do an entire 1/2 mile swim.
Then I continue with a 12 mile bike ride and a 3 mile run before I'm done.
I not only have to get used to this swimming thing but also doing 3 different fitness activities in a row.
No time like the present to start preparing for that!
---
Tonight I donned my new Speedo swimsuit and goggles and walked with much trepidation out of the locker room to the seemingly endless lap pool.
"I can do this." I told myself. "After all, Soldier, who freakin' does the Ironman, never even learned how to swim til he was 30 years old. I can do this."
I jumped in and began my first lap.
Here's a little bit of what was going through my head:
Oh...my... GOD... this is hard! When do I breathe?!
Gasp!! Choke!!
Holy crap!
**flips over on to my back**
Oh yes, this feels much better. Can't I just swim the laps on my back?
Ok, 1/2 lap down. Damn this pool is LLLLOOOONNNGGG!
I can do this! If I can conquer clipping into those pedals for cycling after falling over and over again, I can conquer this too.
I begin my second half of the first lap. Face down, kicking, arms windmilling...
Gasp!! Choke!! Pant!! Cough!!
F*#k! These friggin' lifeguards are looking at me like I'm drowning! Argh! This is HARD!
I continued swimming, flipping from my back to my front. Attempting a regular swimming stroke ( what's that called? Hello? Mr. Phelps?) and alternating with a breast stroke.
My heart was POUNDING in my chest.
I actually only stopped to rest briefly, maybe a minute here and there, but otherwise continued swimming for 25 minutes.
My arms are killing me!
But I am very proud of myself, nonetheless. I think the more I do it, the less panicked I will be. And hopefully, the less panicked I am, I'll be swimming and breathing more efficiently.
I sure hope so.
Still, I think its time to take swim lessons. Again. At age 39.
I'm never too old to learn something new.