Yesterday the bus was crowded and the last seat would have been very claustrophobic so I stood up. I stopped letting go so I could hold my book and the bus driver slammed on the brakes and I fell down! I didn't get hurt but it was pretty embarrassing. (I was wearing 3inch heeled boots which was part of the problem). I just sat on the floor of the bus the rest of the way home rather than try and get up. Kind of like when cats fall and then really quickly start taking a bath, like "I meant to do that!"
I am feeling overwhelmed and disorganized in my life. There is so much to do and so little time and at times I feel like curling up on the couch with Harry Potter and ignoring it all. But since I'm reading it for the third time, Harry will have to wait.
I have had the worst period this month! It was scary heavy yesterday-- made me wonder if I was developing fibroids. I know that the more fat you have the more estrogen you are likely to make so I just really need to lose some weight-- I know for sure my periods are not as bad (and less frequent) when my diet is more in control. I'm going to choose not to beat myself up over how things have gone so far this year-- being so sick and having so much stress just got the better of me. I about 90% better-- my nose still runs at times, I cough at night and I wake up feeling like my eyes are glued shut, but for the most part I'm feeling better. I was going to go back to the gym today and then decided to wait until Saturday since the last two times I thought I was well enough to work out I ended up making myself worse.
I decided to make a list of all the reasons why not being focused on ETL (either eating off plan or over eating ETL foods) is causing me pain and problems so that when I feel like going off plan I can refer back to the list.
1. Heavy, painful, annoying periods that weren't nearly so bad ten pounds ago
2. My clothes don't fit well and I feel very unfit and lethargic
3. I'm very self conscious about my body in and out of clothes
4. I don't have as much energy or ability to concentrate
5. Overeating in the evening is preventing me from sleeping well
6. Overeating during the day may be delaying my complete healing from my cold
7. It is the worst feeling to feel overweight and out of shape during the summer-- if I feel self conscious in sweaters just wait until it's time to bust out the shorts! I still have time to make sure that doesn't happen.
8. I just want to get to a place of balance where I don't have to think about this anymore.
9. I'm very tired of blogging about how I keep messing up
10. It's time to find new ways of dealing with emotional issues instead of eating them.
In the midst of all the chaos in my life I need to reign control of my diet, and my lifestyle. Starting with not eating after 7:30pm-- I need to start getting more sleep so I can make good choices during the day. I keep lying awake until well after 11 and then waking up again at 4am. It's hard not to eat after I get home from class, but I think eating at 9:30 at night keeps me awake.
Okay, here's the problem. Sometimes I feel really determined and focused and I can push through the detox and I feel really good. At the moment I'm so stressed and tired from lack of sleep that it's hard to get geared up so I tend to make not as good choices which I justify with the tired, stressed PMS issues as before which leads to more not sleeping. It's a vicious cycle. I will get it together though-- I just need to psych myself up a little more.
I am feeling overwhelmed and disorganized in my life. There is so much to do and so little time and at times I feel like curling up on the couch with Harry Potter and ignoring it all. But since I'm reading it for the third time, Harry will have to wait.
I have had the worst period this month! It was scary heavy yesterday-- made me wonder if I was developing fibroids. I know that the more fat you have the more estrogen you are likely to make so I just really need to lose some weight-- I know for sure my periods are not as bad (and less frequent) when my diet is more in control. I'm going to choose not to beat myself up over how things have gone so far this year-- being so sick and having so much stress just got the better of me. I about 90% better-- my nose still runs at times, I cough at night and I wake up feeling like my eyes are glued shut, but for the most part I'm feeling better. I was going to go back to the gym today and then decided to wait until Saturday since the last two times I thought I was well enough to work out I ended up making myself worse.
I decided to make a list of all the reasons why not being focused on ETL (either eating off plan or over eating ETL foods) is causing me pain and problems so that when I feel like going off plan I can refer back to the list.
1. Heavy, painful, annoying periods that weren't nearly so bad ten pounds ago
2. My clothes don't fit well and I feel very unfit and lethargic
3. I'm very self conscious about my body in and out of clothes
4. I don't have as much energy or ability to concentrate
5. Overeating in the evening is preventing me from sleeping well
6. Overeating during the day may be delaying my complete healing from my cold
7. It is the worst feeling to feel overweight and out of shape during the summer-- if I feel self conscious in sweaters just wait until it's time to bust out the shorts! I still have time to make sure that doesn't happen.
8. I just want to get to a place of balance where I don't have to think about this anymore.
10. It's time to find new ways of dealing with emotional issues instead of eating them.