Hello all,
This is my first time posting or blogging and joining an on-line community. I have been encouraged so much by other sites and blogs with others stories so I thought I should share my own.
All my life I have had difficulty with sleep. Through college things got really bad and I went through an 8 day period where I maybe slept 10 hours. After I turned 29 I don't know if my chemistry changed or what it was but I could not fall asleep at night I would toss and turn and eventually didn't go to sleep until 3 am like every other night. I went 3 days straight with no sleep and it then manifested into an anxiety disorder. I worried all day if I would be able to sleep at night my bed was my enemy, my stomach would clench on my drive home in anticipation of going to sleep..it was truly awful. I have been to sleep centers (Johns Hopkins) for CBT it turned out to be a bust and was no help to me at all. I did a sleep study which they basically told me I dont have sleep apnea and sent me on my way. I paid 700.00 out of pocket for help with my issue and the docs at Hopkins gave me a ditto on healthy sleep habits had me track a diary and gave me no CBT. No one worked with me on my feelings how this all started and I was out 700.00 with my anxiety/sleep obsession worse then ever. Since then I have found a great therapist and I slowly making progress but it's been awful. I wouldnt wish insomnia on my worst enemy and those who do sleep should not take it for granted.
After Hopkins things got so bad that I had to go on STD at work I was hitting myself, punching walls worrying my husband sick and even tried to slit my wrists all over lack and obsession of sleep. One night I couldnt take it anymore and I admitted myself to the psychiatric ward of a local hospital at this I was on xanax, seroquel and lamictal and celexa. My mind still raced so when I got to the hospital I was prescribed klonopin 1 mg I hadnt slept in 48 hours was vomiting having panic attacks and felt the worst I have ever felt in my life. I was desparate for sleep and started the klonopin 1 mg nightly. I slept that night and every night there after. What I didnt realize was how addictive and bad this drug is for you until I decided that I wanted to start a family soon (I had a better hold on my problem.) I spoke to my OB and he said K was a no no and is a class D drug which causes harm to the fetus. I knew immed I had to stop this medicine if I ever wanted to get pregnant so I stopped cold turkey. The first 5 nights I was ok I thought wow I dont even need this stuff I was on cloud 9 and was looking forward to getting pregnant in the near future.
Then night 7 hit I was sweating had horrible withdrawls sweaty; anxiety nausea it was awful I immed knew it was due to the K withdrawls. I talked to my PCP who told me to start back up and then wean off slowly I am now down to .25 (PROUDLY) but it's a struggle to sleep without it. My PCP has since then prescipbed my trazodone I'm on 100 MG it doesnt work as well and takes me hours to get to sleep but eventually I will fall asleep last night was awful I wanted to take more klonopin but I refused to give in even if it means no sleep. I need to stay strong for my future child and beat this dependency. My PCP also wrote me a scrip for ambien which is a class B but I dont want to take unless necess. I am reading "Say goodnight to insomnia" now which is giving me encouragement but it's tough. If I would have known how addictive this drug is I wouldnt have taken it but I was in a desparate situation. I slept great on it had no anxiety but all good things must come to an end..especially since I want to get pregnant. If you are weaning be strong!!! If you need support email me I know what it's like.
Wish me luck getting off this stuff and overcoming my insomnia!!
Hello all,
This is my first time posting or blogging and joining an on-line community. I have been encouraged so much by other sites and blogs with others stories so I thought I should share my own.
All my life I have had difficulty with sleep. Through college things got really bad and I went through an 8 day period where I maybe slept 10 hours. After I turned 29 I don't know if my chemistry changed or what it was but I could not fall asleep at night I would toss and turn and eventually didn't go to sleep until 3 am like every other night. I went 3 days straight with no sleep and it then manifested into an anxiety disorder. I worried all day if I would be able to sleep at night my bed was my enemy, my stomach would clench on my drive home in anticipation of going to sleep..it was truly awful. I have been to sleep centers (Johns Hopkins) for CBT it turned out to be a bust and was no help to me at all. I did a sleep study which they basically told me I dont have sleep apnea and sent me on my way. I paid 700.00 out of pocket for help with my issue and the docs at Hopkins gave me a ditto on healthy sleep habits had me track a diary and gave me no CBT. No one worked with me on my feelings how this all started and I was out 700.00 with my anxiety/sleep obsession worse then ever. Since then I have found a great therapist and I slowly making progress but it's been awful. I wouldnt wish insomnia on my worst enemy and those who do sleep should not take it for granted.
After Hopkins things got so bad that I had to go on STD at work I was hitting myself, punching walls worrying my husband sick and even tried to slit my wrists all over lack and obsession of sleep. One night I couldnt take it anymore and I admitted myself to the psychiatric ward of a local hospital at this I was on xanax, seroquel and lamictal and celexa. My mind still raced so when I got to the hospital I was prescribed klonopin 1 mg I hadnt slept in 48 hours was vomiting having panic attacks and felt the worst I have ever felt in my life. I was desparate for sleep and started the klonopin 1 mg nightly. I slept that night and every night there after. What I didnt realize was how addictive and bad this drug is for you until I decided that I wanted to start a family soon (I had a better hold on my problem.) I spoke to my OB and he said K was a no no and is a class D drug which causes harm to the fetus. I knew immed I had to stop this medicine if I ever wanted to get pregnant so I stopped cold turkey. The first 5 nights I was ok I thought wow I dont even need this stuff I was on cloud 9 and was looking forward to getting pregnant in the near future.
Then night 7 hit I was sweating had horrible withdrawls sweaty; anxiety nausea it was awful I immed knew it was due to the K withdrawls. I talked to my PCP who told me to start back up and then wean off slowly I am now down to .25 (PROUDLY) but it's a struggle to sleep without it. My PCP has since then prescipbed my trazodone I'm on 100 MG it doesnt work as well and takes me hours to get to sleep but eventually I will fall asleep last night was awful I wanted to take more klonopin but I refused to give in even if it means no sleep. I need to stay strong for my future child and beat this dependency. My PCP also wrote me a scrip for ambien which is a class B but I dont want to take unless necess. I am reading "Say goodnight to insomnia" now which is giving me encouragement but it's tough. If I would have known how addictive this drug is I wouldnt have taken it but I was in a desparate situation. I slept great on it had no anxiety but all good things must come to an end..especially since I want to get pregnant. If you are weaning be strong!!! If you need support email me I know what it's like.
Wish me luck getting off this stuff and overcoming my insomnia!!