It's relatively early in the night shift. We have managed to get a couple of brews in and even watched a whole TV programme without being disturbed. The shrill
insistence of the the phone interrupts me mid page of the my current reading material.
"Concrete Jungle 2, Louise speaking"
"Hi Louise, got an emergency for you in
Jacketsville"
"
Ok, what is it?"
"Female in labour, possible birth imminent. The call has come from the maternity unit. The family called them"
"
Ok, on our way"
We weave through the thin traffic of the night towards our target. We have to use the
SatNav to guide us in as its not our normal area but she gets us close to the target. Its a tower block with several different entrances to choose from. None of them numbered or in the least bit obvious.
A figure waves at us from the window. I'm in the drivers seat tonight so Wannabe* grabs some kit and runs to the front door while I turn around to make a quick get away if we can.
Before I can make it to the gated path Wannabe is walking back towards me with a face like he's chewing on a wasp.
"Their on their way down, suitcases packed. She's no more imminently about to birth then I am"
He walks passed me to the back doors and lowers the step, starts throwing the kit back into place.
I look back up the path and see a young man holding open the door. He is holding a suitcase in his other hand. Out of the door walks a heavily pregnant lady looking like she's just out for an evening stroll.
Ok, so she's in her
jammies but you'd be surprised how many people do that!
She climbs into the back and takes a seat. We do all the appropriate checks, her blood pressure and check her maternity record for anything we should look out for. In the 10 minutes it takes for us to do this and to get everyone ready for transport she did not have one contraction. Either that or her pain threshold is on a par with Jean Claude Van Dam.
We make our way to the maternity unit with no really sense of urgency. When we arrive at the unit there is a midwife waiting for us to give an update.
"How are we doing?"
Wannabe gives a despairing look to her and rolls his eyes "I think we have a wee while yet"
We leave her to settle the patient in the assessment room. We grab a couple of blankets and get stopped by anther midwife in the corridor.
"Hi, is that the patient from
Jacketsville? Manage to get her here on time?"
"She walked out to ambulance with her suitcase in hand and had 2 contractions en route"
"What?!" The look on her face is one of absolute disbelief. "I took that phone call and there was panic and shrieking on the phone. The lad on the phone said he could see the head!"
"Her waters haven't even broken yet"
"Right, I think these people need a little talking to. Wasting
everybody's time. If she's not crowning now she going home!"
With that she stalks
down t he corridor like a women possessed. Wannabe and I share a look of satisfaction. She's off to say whats been in our heads the whole job but sometimes we have to sit and let it fester...........
........... others don't.
"Concrete Jungle 2, Louise speaking"
"Hi Louise, got an emergency for you in Jacketsville"
" Ok, what is it?"
"Female in labour, possible birth imminent. The call has come from the maternity unit. The family called them"
" Ok, on our way"
We weave through the thin traffic of the night towards our target. We have to use the SatNav to guide us in as its not our normal area but she gets us close to the target. Its a tower block with several different entrances to choose from. None of them numbered or in the least bit obvious.
A figure waves at us from the window. I'm in the drivers seat tonight so Wannabe* grabs some kit and runs to the front door while I turn around to make a quick get away if we can.
Before I can make it to the gated path Wannabe is walking back towards me with a face like he's chewing on a wasp.
"Their on their way down, suitcases packed. She's no more imminently about to birth then I am"
He walks passed me to the back doors and lowers the step, starts throwing the kit back into place.
I look back up the path and see a young man holding open the door. He is holding a suitcase in his other hand. Out of the door walks a heavily pregnant lady looking like she's just out for an evening stroll. Ok, so she's in her jammies but you'd be surprised how many people do that!
She climbs into the back and takes a seat. We do all the appropriate checks, her blood pressure and check her maternity record for anything we should look out for. In the 10 minutes it takes for us to do this and to get everyone ready for transport she did not have one contraction. Either that or her pain threshold is on a par with Jean Claude Van Dam.
We make our way to the maternity unit with no really sense of urgency. When we arrive at the unit there is a midwife waiting for us to give an update.
"How are we doing?"
Wannabe gives a despairing look to her and rolls his eyes "I think we have a wee while yet"
We leave her to settle the patient in the assessment room. We grab a couple of blankets and get stopped by anther midwife in the corridor.
"Hi, is that the patient from Jacketsville? Manage to get her here on time?"
"She walked out to ambulance with her suitcase in hand and had 2 contractions en route"
"What?!" The look on her face is one of absolute disbelief. "I took that phone call and there was panic and shrieking on the phone. The lad on the phone said he could see the head!"
"Her waters haven't even broken yet"
"Right, I think these people need a little talking to. Wasting everybody's time. If she's not crowning now she going home!"
With that she stalks down t he corridor like a women possessed. Wannabe and I share a look of satisfaction. She's off to say whats been in our heads the whole job but sometimes we have to sit and let it fester...........
........... others don't.