The original list are myths according to the DBT model. The aim of the exercise is to challenge these myths which Borderlines mostly think are true. I agree with most of the statements on the list. But I have to complete the exercise as my homework for this week. So here goes….
1) There is a right way to feel in every situation.
People are different, so we all react differently in every situation. There is no right or wrong way. (Sid gave me the idea for this one)
2) Letting others know that I am feeling bad is weakness.
If I don’t tell others that I am feeling bad, they will think I am ok when I am not. (This is a bit of a cheat too – V gave me this as an example when I asked her for examples last week)
3) Negative feelings are bad and destructive.
When I am feeling negative, I DO NOT have to ACTdestructively. (I’m quite proud of coming up with this one)
4) Being emotional means being out of control.
(need help for this one) 5) Emotions can just happen for no reason.
Emotions like fear can be a signal that something is wrong and can trigger a flight or fight instinct that could save us. (Example – standing in the middle of a busy road and feeling fear so we can get ourselves to safety)
6) Some emotions are really stupid.
Emotions are expressions of how we are feeling. They are not necessarily right or wrong, or stupid. 7) All painful emotions are a result of bad attitude.
(need help for this one)
8) If others don’t approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn’t feel the way I do.
It doesn’t matter whether people approve of my feelings. Whatever I am feeling is valid, and feelings are just feelings – they do not define who I am. 9) Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling.
People cannot judge how I am feeling because they often do not know what is really going on. 10) Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored.
Painful emotions are a part of life. Paying attention to them can promote growth.
1) There is a right way to feel in every situation.
People are different, so we all react differently in every situation. There is no right or wrong way. (Sid gave me the idea for this one)
2) Letting others know that I am feeling bad is weakness.
If I don’t tell others that I am feeling bad, they will think I am ok when I am not. (This is a bit of a cheat too – V gave me this as an example when I asked her for examples last week)
3) Negative feelings are bad and destructive.
When I am feeling negative, I DO NOT have to ACTdestructively. (I’m quite proud of coming up with this one)
4) Being emotional means being out of control.
(need help for this one)
5) Emotions can just happen for no reason.
Emotions like fear can be a signal that something is wrong and can trigger a flight or fight instinct that could save us. (Example – standing in the middle of a busy road and feeling fear so we can get ourselves to safety)
6) Some emotions are really stupid.
Emotions are expressions of how we are feeling. They are not necessarily right or wrong, or stupid.
7) All painful emotions are a result of bad attitude.
(need help for this one)
8) If others don’t approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn’t feel the way I do.
It doesn’t matter whether people approve of my feelings. Whatever I am feeling is valid, and feelings are just feelings – they do not define who I am.
9) Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling.
People cannot judge how I am feeling because they often do not know what is really going on.
10) Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored.
Painful emotions are a part of life. Paying attention to them can promote growth.