Thanks to my supervision group for exploring this issue so openly and frankly in discussing their responses and thoughts on gifts as part of our supervision session. This has led me to summarise some of these thoughts and add a few of my own that I thought might be useful for other students and supervisors to think about.
Gifts in psychological treatment are complicated. They inevitably arouse conflicts and emotions within the therapist including:
Pleasure, feeding of self-esteem, specialness, feelings of approval
Conflict and anxiety to accept or not to accept
Guilt about accepting gift: I want to but I am not allowed but maybe just this once
Guilt about rejecting the gift: I will hurt the client, they will disapprove, become angry, punish me, I may not be able to cope with their rejection
Anger how dare they intrude on my boundaries, how dare they put me in this conflict.
Why do clients give gifts?
Clients may have a genuine appreciation of the therapist. At times of significant change 
clients may what to genuinely acknowledge the contribution the therapist has made to their lives.
Clients may want to test the boundaries of the relationship with the therapist.Clients may attempt to bind the therapist to them. I have given you a gift now you owe me. Clients may want to see how far they can personalise the relationship with the therapist. Gifts may be given at times in attempt to make the therapist “be nice” to avoid confronting certain issues or themes i.e. to buy the therapist off. They can be a defence or an attempt to ward off perceived therapist anger or criticism A need to feel special may underly some gift giving.A gift may be an attempt to become more special in the eyes of the therapist. Gifts made by the client may reflect “look at what a clever boy/girl I am”. Gifts may be an attempt to personalise the relationship with the therapist and balance the power in the relationship.
Thanks to my supervision group for exploring this issue so openly and frankly in discussing their responses and thoughts on gifts as part of our supervision session. This has led me to summarise some of these thoughts and add a few of my own that I thought might be useful for other students and supervisors to think about.
Gifts in psychological treatment are complicated. They inevitably arouse conflicts and emotions within the therapist including:
Pleasure, feeding of self-esteem, specialness, feelings of approval
Conflict and anxiety to accept or not to accept
Guilt about accepting gift: I want to but I am not allowed but maybe just this once
Guilt about rejecting the gift: I will hurt the client, they will disapprove, become angry, punish me, I may not be able to cope with their rejection
Anger how dare they intrude on my boundaries, how dare they put me in this conflict.
Why do clients give gifts?
Clients may have a genuine appreciation of the therapist. At times of significant change
clients may what to genuinely acknowledge the contribution the therapist has made to their lives.
Clients may want to test the boundaries of the relationship with the therapist.Clients may attempt to bind the therapist to them. I have given you a gift now you owe me. Clients may want to see how far they can personalise the relationship with the therapist. Gifts may be given at times in attempt to make the therapist “be nice” to avoid confronting certain issues or themes i.e. to buy the therapist off. They can be a defence or an attempt to ward off perceived therapist anger or criticism A need to feel special may underly some gift giving.A gift may be an attempt to become more special in the eyes of the therapist. Gifts made by the client may reflect “look at what a clever boy/girl I am”. Gifts may be an attempt to personalise the relationship with the therapist and balance the power in the relationship.