This article was written as part of a response to the following;
I'm recovering from long term abuse. All my life almost - my father did the abusing. I don't know why I can't shake off the guilt. I feel cursed by God. I feel something was very wrong with me even at birth for these things to happen. I feel all wrong and unable to face the world. I don't go out, I don't speak to people. I am full of shame. Worse, I left my mother and sisters there and I'm afraid he will abuse them just to get at me. I can't help it if they want to tolerate him. I can't make them leave. They think he's the head of the family and obeying him is more important than any of our lives or dignity. I know its their choice but why can't I move on? I didn't hurt anyone or do anything wrong. Why do I feel guilty?
In the course of emotional healing, one of the biggest roadblocks we all bang into some time or the other, is Guilt. Guilt for things we don't know about, or have no connection with. Such guilt is very difficult to deal with because we didn't do anything in the first place, or didn't know we were supposed do something.
Sometimes we don't even know we carry guilt but we still go through the day feeling like God is angry with us and justifiably too. We punish ourselves in little ways without knowing it, cut our own success stories short - again without knowing why. This is a pattern so common in people now I cannot bring up enough instances of it.
There is Inherited or second-hand Guilt - guilt that stops us from living fully, living happily, because a long time ago a member of our tribe or clan or family did something wrong, or suffered very terrible conditions. We feel guilty for their guilt - or we feel guilty for living so well now. If we move on we feel guilty for 'forgetting' the things our parents or ancestors went through so we could live the way we do today.
There is yet another lethal form of Guilt going around though that seems to escape many. In many countries, inducing guilt in others this way, is punishable by law. In the Indian Penal Code (Act XLV - Section 508 , 1860) it is called Making someone an 'Object of Divine Displeasure' - the same name by which it is called in most countries that have penal codes that are close to or descended from the British code of law.
This is described as;
A threatens Z that, unless Z performs a certain act, A will kill one of A' s own children, under such circumstances that the killing would be believed to render Z an object of Divine displeasure. A has committed the offence defined in this section.
Continue reading: Unexplainable Burdens of Guilt >>
This article was written as part of a response to the following;
I'm recovering from long term abuse. All my life almost - my father did the abusing. I don't know why I can't shake off the guilt. I feel cursed by God. I feel something was very wrong with me even at birth for these things to happen. I feel all wrong and unable to face the world. I don't go out, I don't speak to people. I am full of shame. Worse, I left my mother and sisters there and I'm afraid he will abuse them just to get at me. I can't help it if they want to tolerate him. I can't make them leave. They think he's the head of the family and obeying him is more important than any of our lives or dignity. I know its their choice but why can't I move on? I didn't hurt anyone or do anything wrong. Why do I feel guilty?
In the course of emotional healing, one of the biggest roadblocks we all bang into some time or the other, is Guilt. Guilt for things we don't know about, or have no connection with. Such guilt is very difficult to deal with because we didn't do anything in the first place, or didn't know we were supposed do something.
Sometimes we don't even know we carry guilt but we still go through the day feeling like God is angry with us and justifiably too. We punish ourselves in little ways without knowing it, cut our own success stories short - again without knowing why. This is a pattern so common in people now I cannot bring up enough instances of it.
There is Inherited or second-hand Guilt - guilt that stops us from living fully, living happily, because a long time ago a member of our tribe or clan or family did something wrong, or suffered very terrible conditions. We feel guilty for their guilt - or we feel guilty for living so well now. If we move on we feel guilty for 'forgetting' the things our parents or ancestors went through so we could live the way we do today.
There is yet another lethal form of Guilt going around though that seems to escape many. In many countries, inducing guilt in others this way, is punishable by law. In the Indian Penal Code (Act XLV - Section 508 , 1860) it is called Making someone an 'Object of Divine Displeasure' - the same name by which it is called in most countries that have penal codes that are close to or descended from the British code of law.
This is described as;
A threatens Z that, unless Z performs a certain act, A will kill one of A' s own children, under such circumstances that the killing would be believed to render Z an object of Divine displeasure. A has committed the offence defined in this section.
Continue reading: Unexplainable Burdens of Guilt >>