Who are you?!
Sometimes I am forced by my own progeny to become the meanest, most evil, most vile mommy on the planet.
Sometimes I do enjoy this role…yes, kids, you are right! But most times I hate having to be the one to nag, to state the obvious, to take things away, and so on and so on and so on.
The very first time I took a home pregnancy test and beheld a positive result I did not clap and rub my hands together with glee over the prospect of always having to ask my dear ones to pick up after themselves, shut the refrigerator, put away the milk, flush the toilet, and so on and so on and so on. While I anticipated the birth of my very first child I did not count down the days until I could tell my child(ren) “no”. Oh they might imagine that these are the very reasons I chose to become a mother and to bring them in this world and they would be absolutely, positively WRONG!
For the record I do not find joy in nagging and chastising my children. Believe me, there is no joy or glory in:
- stating the obvious to your “adult” child who can’t afford her rent much less pay her other bills or afford to gas up her car that she might not be able to go down to Southern Cali for a friend’s wedding. How dare I suggest that she send a lovely card with a small gift and her regrets? After all, this is a friend…whom she hasn’t seen for over five years. Of course as mom I have absolutely no clue how much this means to her…it’s not like I never missed my brother’s wedding or the weddings of a few school friends because I was too broke to afford to travel and attend them…of course not!
- having to wake up your “adult” child so she can get to classes or work on time because although she is a mature, responsible adult, she can’t seem to be able to take the time to set and respond to an alarm clock…oh wait, she does. I am her alarm clock.
- reminding your older children that on a school night bedtime and lights out means just that….I am sick and tired of being sleep deprived because I have to be the family hall monitor during the night and the alarm clock in the morning
- not only functioning as a living, breathing alarm clock but also having to be an alarm clock with a snooze feature. Would CPS really be pissed if I resorted to using an air horn or an electric cattle prod to wake my three oldest children?
- reminding your school aged children that homework time means no tv, no video/computer games, no MySpace and no text messaging..especially text messaging your sister sitting next to you.
- being forced to confiscate tv remotes, games, the computer and cell phones because apparently I stutter when I remind the kids what homework time really means.
Grrrr….
I know, I know, I am a BAD mom for venting on my blog about my kids and what they do to make me so vile and evil.
My bad!
If it keeps me from becoming the lead story on the evening news (Mother goes beserk) then blog on!
I need to step away from the children and relax. Maybe a mango martini and a pedi will help. After all, every evil mother must have perfectly beautiful toes, right?
Who are you?!
Sometimes I am forced by my own progeny to become the meanest, most evil, most vile mommy on the planet.
Sometimes I do enjoy this role…yes, kids, you are right! But most times I hate having to be the one to nag, to state the obvious, to take things away, and so on and so on and so on.
The very first time I took a home pregnancy test and beheld a positive result I did not clap and rub my hands together with glee over the prospect of always having to ask my dear ones to pick up after themselves, shut the refrigerator, put away the milk, flush the toilet, and so on and so on and so on. While I anticipated the birth of my very first child I did not count down the days until I could tell my child(ren) “no”. Oh they might imagine that these are the very reasons I chose to become a mother and to bring them in this world and they would be absolutely, positively WRONG!
For the record I do not find joy in nagging and chastising my children. Believe me, there is no joy or glory in:
- stating the obvious to your “adult” child who can’t afford her rent much less pay her other bills or afford to gas up her car that she might not be able to go down to Southern Cali for a friend’s wedding. How dare I suggest that she send a lovely card with a small gift and her regrets? After all, this is a friend…whom she hasn’t seen for over five years. Of course as mom I have absolutely no clue how much this means to her…it’s not like I never missed my brother’s wedding or the weddings of a few school friends because I was too broke to afford to travel and attend them…of course not!
- having to wake up your “adult” child so she can get to classes or work on time because although she is a mature, responsible adult, she can’t seem to be able to take the time to set and respond to an alarm clock…oh wait, she does. I am her alarm clock.
- reminding your older children that on a school night bedtime and lights out means just that….I am sick and tired of being sleep deprived because I have to be the family hall monitor during the night and the alarm clock in the morning
- not only functioning as a living, breathing alarm clock but also having to be an alarm clock with a snooze feature. Would CPS really be pissed if I resorted to using an air horn or an electric cattle prod to wake my three oldest children?
- reminding your school aged children that homework time means no tv, no video/computer games, no MySpace and no text messaging..especially text messaging your sister sitting next to you.
- being forced to confiscate tv remotes, games, the computer and cell phones because apparently I stutter when I remind the kids what homework time really means.
Grrrr….
I know, I know, I am a BAD mom for venting on my blog about my kids and what they do to make me so vile and evil.
My bad!
If it keeps me from becoming the lead story on the evening news (Mother goes beserk) then blog on!
I need to step away from the children and relax. Maybe a mango martini and a pedi will help. After all, every evil mother must have perfectly beautiful toes, right?
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Who are you?!
Sometimes I am forced by my own progeny to become the meanest, most evil, most vile mommy on the planet.
Sometimes I do enjoy this role…yes, kids, you are right! But most times I hate having to be the one to nag, to state the obvious, to take things away, and so on and so on and so on.
The very first time I took a home pregnancy test and beheld a positive result I did not clap and rub my hands together with glee over the prospect of always having to ask my dear ones to pick up after themselves, shut the refrigerator, put away the milk, flush the toilet, and so on and so on and so on. While I anticipated the birth of my very first child I did not count down the days until I could tell my child(ren) “no”. Oh they might imagine that these are the very reasons I chose to become a mother and to bring them in this world and they would be absolutely, positively WRONG!
For the record I do not find joy in nagging and chastising my children. Believe me, there is no joy or glory in:
Grrrr….
I know, I know, I am a BAD mom for venting on my blog about my kids and what they do to make me so vile and evil.
My bad!
If it keeps me from becoming the lead story on the evening news (Mother goes beserk) then blog on!
I need to step away from the children and relax. Maybe a mango martini and a pedi will help. After all, every evil mother must have perfectly beautiful toes, right?
Who are you?!
Sometimes I am forced by my own progeny to become the meanest, most evil, most vile mommy on the planet.
Sometimes I do enjoy this role…yes, kids, you are right! But most times I hate having to be the one to nag, to state the obvious, to take things away, and so on and so on and so on.
The very first time I took a home pregnancy test and beheld a positive result I did not clap and rub my hands together with glee over the prospect of always having to ask my dear ones to pick up after themselves, shut the refrigerator, put away the milk, flush the toilet, and so on and so on and so on. While I anticipated the birth of my very first child I did not count down the days until I could tell my child(ren) “no”. Oh they might imagine that these are the very reasons I chose to become a mother and to bring them in this world and they would be absolutely, positively WRONG!
For the record I do not find joy in nagging and chastising my children. Believe me, there is no joy or glory in:
Grrrr….
I know, I know, I am a BAD mom for venting on my blog about my kids and what they do to make me so vile and evil.
My bad!
If it keeps me from becoming the lead story on the evening news (Mother goes beserk) then blog on!
I need to step away from the children and relax. Maybe a mango martini and a pedi will help. After all, every evil mother must have perfectly beautiful toes, right?