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I’m Having Trouble Connecting!

Posted Nov 02 2009 10:00pm

NaBloPoMo Day #3

“I ‘m having trouble connecting!”

I yelled this out to my staff this A.M. . What I really meant was that my little hand held computer was having trouble connecting to the main computer.

But as I yelled it to the world it was a realization to myself as well. Busy with home and chores and now with NaBloPpoMo I am getting more and more disconnected with my life and everything is becoming a task. I tend to do this and then can’t quite figure out why I’m all amped up

Tasking Tasking Tasking.

Wake up- Check

Wake the kids up- Check

Drink coffee- Check

Make lunches- Check

Kiss husband goodbye- Check

Walk kids to bus stop- Check

Visit with neighbors- Check

Take shower – Check

Drop youngest at preschool- Check

See clinic, follow up labs, chart- Check, Check and Check

Go grocery shopping- Check

Pick youngest up at preschool- Check

Pick up kids at bus stop- Check

Make delicious and healthy meal- Check

Eat said meal- Check

Give baths to kids- Check

Check homework- Double Check

Read to kids and tuck into bed- A Relieved Check

I do eat and do laundry, occasionally work out and forget to clean the bathroom..

After the kids are down, I crawl into bed and read for a while. Lately I hear the TV on way in the distant living room but make no attempt to go and watch and talk with my husband.

Tasking Tasking Tasking.

I squeeze in little moments to think, to write, to collect myself.

Even some of this I wrote on a paper towel, while crouched over the sink in my office bathroom.

It’s the only place I am guaranteed privacy. At work is it unthinkable to bother someone in the bathroom. At home I’m free game.

Last night my dream was about a crocodile that wouldn’t stop chasing me. My dream sister let it eat her pinkies as a snack and this assuaged the beast and we got away.

How depressing.

See this is why I like to write because when I woke up this morning I would have thought it was any other day. Now I know I need to breath in between my tasks and  keep writing.

I feel better.  A warning for all those crocodiles-  “No more pinkies for snacks!”

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