Ever since April wrote
this post , I've been itching to write a post of my own on the subject.
Marriage...
Here's a little secret of mine, my hubby and I are not married. Not traditionally or officially anyway. We got "married" about a year after we met when we got each other's names tattooed on us. Our "vows" were very romantic...they consisted of us looking nervously at each other and muttering something along the lines of, "uhhh, guess this means we're married".
You see, I don't believe in marriage. Not that I scoff at people who do legally wed or anything. I just think that in today's society, marriage is not necessarily a step that has to be taken if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
As far as hubby and I are concerned, we are married already. We refer to each other as husband and wife. We live together, love and respect each other, we are raising our children together...we are a family. That's good enough for me. I don't think we need to say vows or wear rings to be committed to each other. I don't believe we need a priest/judge and an audience to prove our devotion. It's there already, with or without a ring. (Which I wouldn't even wear, by the way, because I never wear jewelery).
Think of how many (legally) married couples out there cheat on each other. How many of them disrespect each other, name call, bicker constantly, lie to each other? Unfortunately, I know many, many couples who say they are married, but do not act like married people. So why is it, that these people get more respect as a "married couple" than my hubby and I do? After all, we do not cheat, we do not name call, we do not lie, we do not bicker (often, hehe).
We have felt family pressure to tie the know and we ignore it. We know, in our hearts, that we have tied that knot already. I hate with a passion, when people use the line "Oh, but it's better for the children if you are married". WHAT?? What's better for the children is to be raised in a home where their parents are loving. Anyone who has witnessed their parents divorce knows that. A married couple who fights constantly and are genuinely unhappy are not providing a better environment for their children (than an unwed couple who is genuinely happy) just because they are legally married. Period.
We all know the divorce statistics...50% of marriages fail. I think this partly has to do with the fact that couples feel a certain amount of pressure to wed. (I also believe the high divorce rate is partly due to feminism, but that's another post completely.) I'm not even talking about pressure from family and friends. I'm talking about society's pressure, the government's pressure. It's better tax wise to be married. It's better health insurance wise to be married. It's all bullshit if you ask me.
Marriage is two people sharing a life together. Marriage is devotion, marriage is family, marriage is love, and respect, and communication. Marriage is not a goddamn piece of paper!! Marriage is not a white dress. Marriage is not a box to be checked on your tax return. Marriage is not necessary.
Understand, I'm not saying that I will never get married. I simply hate the fact that our relationship isn't taken as seriously by society in general, as a couple who is legally married. I would be perfectly happy if my relationship stayed in it's present state forever.
But every once in a while, hubby will glance over at me and say, "You know, someday, I'm gonna want to marry you." I just smile and say yes dear. Maybe. Someday. Probably 10 years from now when we can afford to vacation in Vegas. We will have had one too many drinks and think that it will be funny if we go thru one of those drive-thru wedding chapels. We'll wake up the next day, hung-over and hitched thinking...
OMG...what the hell did we just do ?! Heehee, the wedding pics will be funny. Both of us drunken fools, with Elvis as our witness...priceless.
Marriage...
Here's a little secret of mine, my hubby and I are not married. Not traditionally or officially anyway. We got "married" about a year after we met when we got each other's names tattooed on us. Our "vows" were very romantic...they consisted of us looking nervously at each other and muttering something along the lines of, "uhhh, guess this means we're married".
You see, I don't believe in marriage. Not that I scoff at people who do legally wed or anything. I just think that in today's society, marriage is not necessarily a step that has to be taken if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
As far as hubby and I are concerned, we are married already. We refer to each other as husband and wife. We live together, love and respect each other, we are raising our children together...we are a family. That's good enough for me. I don't think we need to say vows or wear rings to be committed to each other. I don't believe we need a priest/judge and an audience to prove our devotion. It's there already, with or without a ring. (Which I wouldn't even wear, by the way, because I never wear jewelery).
Think of how many (legally) married couples out there cheat on each other. How many of them disrespect each other, name call, bicker constantly, lie to each other? Unfortunately, I know many, many couples who say they are married, but do not act like married people. So why is it, that these people get more respect as a "married couple" than my hubby and I do? After all, we do not cheat, we do not name call, we do not lie, we do not bicker (often, hehe).
We have felt family pressure to tie the know and we ignore it. We know, in our hearts, that we have tied that knot already. I hate with a passion, when people use the line "Oh, but it's better for the children if you are married". WHAT?? What's better for the children is to be raised in a home where their parents are loving. Anyone who has witnessed their parents divorce knows that. A married couple who fights constantly and are genuinely unhappy are not providing a better environment for their children (than an unwed couple who is genuinely happy) just because they are legally married. Period.
We all know the divorce statistics...50% of marriages fail. I think this partly has to do with the fact that couples feel a certain amount of pressure to wed. (I also believe the high divorce rate is partly due to feminism, but that's another post completely.) I'm not even talking about pressure from family and friends. I'm talking about society's pressure, the government's pressure. It's better tax wise to be married. It's better health insurance wise to be married. It's all bullshit if you ask me.
Marriage is two people sharing a life together. Marriage is devotion, marriage is family, marriage is love, and respect, and communication. Marriage is not a goddamn piece of paper!! Marriage is not a white dress. Marriage is not a box to be checked on your tax return. Marriage is not necessary.
Understand, I'm not saying that I will never get married. I simply hate the fact that our relationship isn't taken as seriously by society in general, as a couple who is legally married. I would be perfectly happy if my relationship stayed in it's present state forever.
But every once in a while, hubby will glance over at me and say, "You know, someday, I'm gonna want to marry you." I just smile and say yes dear. Maybe. Someday. Probably 10 years from now when we can afford to vacation in Vegas. We will have had one too many drinks and think that it will be funny if we go thru one of those drive-thru wedding chapels. We'll wake up the next day, hung-over and hitched thinking... OMG...what the hell did we just do ?! Heehee, the wedding pics will be funny. Both of us drunken fools, with Elvis as our witness...priceless.