Just when I think I know it all, I realize that it's true what they say about learning being a lifetime process. Just this past week, I became enlightened on a few new things....
No matter how many times I have asked my husband to supervise the kids, it rarely turns out well. These pictures speak for themselves:
I guess I do need to see the positive in all this. Some of my friends have said, "Oh, just consider yourself lucky that he's willing to help you out". First of all, it's not a matter of him "willing to help out", because they're HIS kids too. And yes I do consider myself lucky....lucky that the kids didn't burn the house down (or
cut one another's hair again as in a past experience when Tim was supposed to be supervising) while he slept peacefully like a baby not even 3 feet away from them. Suffice it to say, I have finally learned that my idea of "supervising the children" and Tim's idea of "supervising the children" are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum.
I learned this weekend that you don't "TAKE" a poop....you "LEAVE" it. Bella and Cole were having one of their wierd random conversations and Cole had to....um....take care of business. So he excused himself and said, "I'll be right back...I gotta go take a poop". Bella said, "No, you don't take a poop...you leave it in the toilet, where it's supposed to be". Yep, keep those pearls of wisdom coming....
I learned that Bella has a secret desire to use every single public restroom that she possibly can during her lifetime. I always thought it was just convenient timing on her part that she would suddenly have to pee or poop every time we go somewhere. But today I finally figured it out. I took them grocery shopping (yet another learning experience but I'll get to that in a minute) and within 20 minutes of being in the store, she announces to me, "Mommy, I have to poop...NOW". I said, "can you just wait 5 more minutes until we get these last 3 things and then I'll take you to the bathroom?". No, apparently that wasn't part of her plan. Perhaps she was bored with all the shopping and the strong urge to discover what the inside of the public restroom look liked became too overwhelming for her...she crossed her legs, held her belly and said, "Mommy, I really need to go...I don't even know if I'll make it to the bathroom". Of course, what mother is gonna hear that and not make a hasty bee-line for the bathroom?
So I ditch the cart near the bathroom only to discover that someone was already in the ladies' room. I did what any desperate mother would do....I went in to the men's room, where she proceeded to take her sweet time using the potty. She was even kind enough to let Cole go pee first, insisting that she could hold it a minute longer. Then as she sat on the pot, not only did she hum a lovely Disney tune for us for a few seconds, she evaluated her surroundings and provided such commentary for us, like "Hey guys, look at the wallpaper...I like the color" (what wallpaper? they have wallpaper in this bathroom?), "why did someone write all over the wall over there? (graffiti, my dear...can you just go poop already?), "why is there a handlebar next to the toilet...we don't have that at home" (it's for people who are in wheelchairs - are you done yet?), and then we had to listen to her rant for a few seconds over how disgusted she was that the mirror above the sink was way too small for a bathroom. This is where I finally lost my patience and gave her the old "either poop or get off the pot" speech. With that, she gave me a dirty look, finished her business, we all washed our hands and she announced that we could now resume our grocery shopping, completely satisfied with herself that she is coming close to reaching her goal of seeing the inside of at least 100 public restrooms by the time she reaches the age of 5. As we walked back to our cart, I said, "Bella, you amaze me....not many people are as comfortable as you are going poop in a public bathroom". She said, "that's silly....people should just go poop wherever they want". I instantly had visions of her running for class president during her senior year, preaching to the crowd of rowdy students..."And I, Bella, swear to fulfill all my promises as your class president....vending machines full of junk food, 2-hour lunch breaks, a student lounge where we can hang out when we're bored in class, and the freedom to poop wherever you want"....and the crowd goes wild and it's no wonder she wins by a landslide because the students love these new rules....the school janitors, not so much.
As for the rest of the shopping trip, I learned that no matter how many times I tell my kids that I am not buying them toys or candy at the grocery store, like before we left the house, as we're driving to the store, in the parking lot of the store and as we're walking into the store..."I have a list of things I'm buying while we are here...I am NOT buying anything that is NOT on my list, got it??", the kids will still ask as we cruise down every single aisle, "can I have this?" and "can I have that?". What part of "NO" don't they understand? When I ask them to repeat what I said already about buying things not on my list, they can repeat it back word for word....and then say, "but I really really really want this". I guess that's the part where I'm supposed to say, "Oh, well now that changes things, doesn't it? I didn't realize that you really really really wanted it...in that case, go ahead and put it in the cart then". Let me just add that to the list of things that my kids will never hear me say.
I learned that even kids who can look this adorable in the first part of the day....
can easily turn on you and become the most mischievous child who's ever discovered the power of the words "no" and "mine". Funny how his shirt says "Believe me, I'm nice". Just looking at that face convinces me otherwise.
Yes, that's a DVD case he's holding....at the playground. Some kids carry blankies, some kids suck on pacis...my kid finds comfort holding DVD cases. I have yet to go to the park where another parent comes up to me and says, "Um, do you know your kid is walking around with a DVD case?". Yeah, and your point is?? I'm not stupid enough to leave the actual DVD in there. I psych him out by putting a blank CD in the case....he's happy, I'm happy....let's all get back to playing, shall we...oh, and by the way, your kid just dropped his paci in the sandbox and put it back in his mouth after another kid stepped on it.
I also learned that the best way to get my husband worked up is to greet him at the door after he's been at work all day and say, "You have to see this...I got the cutest picture of Garrett and Landon today..."
As he looked at the picture, I said, "Look how cute they are....Garrett just loved Bella's princess crown and Landon thoroughly enjoyed running around as a pretty pink butterfly princess". I think I actually saw the veins pulsing in his neck. To add more fuel to the fire, I said, "I was about to paint their nails bright red but then I realized it was time for lunch....we'll get to that another day I guess". See, this whole time I've been going about it wrong....now I'm learning how to pick my battles. Tim forgets to take the garbage out (again)....I let his sons dress up in their sister's princess attire. It all works out in the end.
And last but not least, I learned that twins who fight like cats and dogs for a better part of the day, will eventually have sweet tender moments with one another, like this (notice they have 2 sets of twin baby dolls....and they're completely exhausted, just like their Mama):
No matter how many times I have asked my husband to supervise the kids, it rarely turns out well. These pictures speak for themselves:
I learned this weekend that you don't "TAKE" a poop....you "LEAVE" it. Bella and Cole were having one of their wierd random conversations and Cole had to....um....take care of business. So he excused himself and said, "I'll be right back...I gotta go take a poop". Bella said, "No, you don't take a poop...you leave it in the toilet, where it's supposed to be". Yep, keep those pearls of wisdom coming....
I learned that Bella has a secret desire to use every single public restroom that she possibly can during her lifetime. I always thought it was just convenient timing on her part that she would suddenly have to pee or poop every time we go somewhere. But today I finally figured it out. I took them grocery shopping (yet another learning experience but I'll get to that in a minute) and within 20 minutes of being in the store, she announces to me, "Mommy, I have to poop...NOW". I said, "can you just wait 5 more minutes until we get these last 3 things and then I'll take you to the bathroom?". No, apparently that wasn't part of her plan. Perhaps she was bored with all the shopping and the strong urge to discover what the inside of the public restroom look liked became too overwhelming for her...she crossed her legs, held her belly and said, "Mommy, I really need to go...I don't even know if I'll make it to the bathroom". Of course, what mother is gonna hear that and not make a hasty bee-line for the bathroom?
So I ditch the cart near the bathroom only to discover that someone was already in the ladies' room. I did what any desperate mother would do....I went in to the men's room, where she proceeded to take her sweet time using the potty. She was even kind enough to let Cole go pee first, insisting that she could hold it a minute longer. Then as she sat on the pot, not only did she hum a lovely Disney tune for us for a few seconds, she evaluated her surroundings and provided such commentary for us, like "Hey guys, look at the wallpaper...I like the color" (what wallpaper? they have wallpaper in this bathroom?), "why did someone write all over the wall over there? (graffiti, my dear...can you just go poop already?), "why is there a handlebar next to the toilet...we don't have that at home" (it's for people who are in wheelchairs - are you done yet?), and then we had to listen to her rant for a few seconds over how disgusted she was that the mirror above the sink was way too small for a bathroom. This is where I finally lost my patience and gave her the old "either poop or get off the pot" speech. With that, she gave me a dirty look, finished her business, we all washed our hands and she announced that we could now resume our grocery shopping, completely satisfied with herself that she is coming close to reaching her goal of seeing the inside of at least 100 public restrooms by the time she reaches the age of 5. As we walked back to our cart, I said, "Bella, you amaze me....not many people are as comfortable as you are going poop in a public bathroom". She said, "that's silly....people should just go poop wherever they want". I instantly had visions of her running for class president during her senior year, preaching to the crowd of rowdy students..."And I, Bella, swear to fulfill all my promises as your class president....vending machines full of junk food, 2-hour lunch breaks, a student lounge where we can hang out when we're bored in class, and the freedom to poop wherever you want"....and the crowd goes wild and it's no wonder she wins by a landslide because the students love these new rules....the school janitors, not so much.
As for the rest of the shopping trip, I learned that no matter how many times I tell my kids that I am not buying them toys or candy at the grocery store, like before we left the house, as we're driving to the store, in the parking lot of the store and as we're walking into the store..."I have a list of things I'm buying while we are here...I am NOT buying anything that is NOT on my list, got it??", the kids will still ask as we cruise down every single aisle, "can I have this?" and "can I have that?". What part of "NO" don't they understand? When I ask them to repeat what I said already about buying things not on my list, they can repeat it back word for word....and then say, "but I really really really want this". I guess that's the part where I'm supposed to say, "Oh, well now that changes things, doesn't it? I didn't realize that you really really really wanted it...in that case, go ahead and put it in the cart then". Let me just add that to the list of things that my kids will never hear me say.
I learned that even kids who can look this adorable in the first part of the day....
I also learned that the best way to get my husband worked up is to greet him at the door after he's been at work all day and say, "You have to see this...I got the cutest picture of Garrett and Landon today..."
And last but not least, I learned that twins who fight like cats and dogs for a better part of the day, will eventually have sweet tender moments with one another, like this (notice they have 2 sets of twin baby dolls....and they're completely exhausted, just like their Mama):