Today is a bittersweet day. Today marks the EDD of my long-lost Snowflake.
While I must admit that my current state of p-wordedness makes this anniversary a good bit easier than if I were not, and while I am certainly eternally grateful for said p-wordedness, I am still tinged with sadness for the baby who couldn't make it. I still wonder how things could've been.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this baby does not replace the ones I have lost. Being the p-word does not make you forget. Granted, it makes things seem more hopeful for the future. And it has stunted the grieving process by forcing me to accept my loss and move on. But the past remains the past. That pain is still there and at times, still raw. I still shed tears last night at midnight as I thought about the fateful day I had to give up my hopes and dreams for the child whom I would never meet.
So, today I commemorate my baby up in heaven. I know she is in good hands. But I miss her.
I like to think that my angels sent me this baby. An early birthday gift to their Mommy. And that makes my Sunshine so much more special and sentimental to me than ever.
Today is a bittersweet day. Today marks the EDD of my long-lost Snowflake.
While I must admit that my current state of p-wordedness makes this anniversary a good bit easier than if I were not, and while I am certainly eternally grateful for said p-wordedness, I am still tinged with sadness for the baby who couldn't make it. I still wonder how things could've been.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that this baby does not replace the ones I have lost. Being the p-word does not make you forget. Granted, it makes things seem more hopeful for the future. And it has stunted the grieving process by forcing me to accept my loss and move on. But the past remains the past. That pain is still there and at times, still raw. I still shed tears last night at midnight as I thought about the fateful day I had to give up my hopes and dreams for the child whom I would never meet.
So, today I commemorate my baby up in heaven. I know she is in good hands. But I miss her.
I like to think that my angels sent me this baby. An early birthday gift to their Mommy. And that makes my Sunshine so much more special and sentimental to me than ever.