Welcome to day 14 of cycle 14, 6 days into prime baby making time. We are doing a little better with the timing, although it's no where near where I wanted it to be. Projected ovulation is today so we'll keep at it until Wednesday just to be sure. The husband had the bizarre need to ask me if I thought I was pregnant yet, which is virtually impossible unless I evaluated very early, which has only happened once in these 14 cycles.
And speaking of questions that should not come out of the husband's mouth during this emotionally fragile time, here's another one based on another TV show. We were watching Desperate Housewives last night. The husband loves the show, just refuses to admit it to anyone other than me, for fear that people would perceive him to be just a little less manly. He's sensitive, everyone knows it, but not my point.
Anyway, Gabby and Carlos get their new baby and when Carlos asks for his turn to hold the baby, Gabby says no. At which point the husband pauses the TiVo and asks, you aren't going to be like that when we have a baby are you? Now trying to keep him still willing to have sex with me, I don't bite his head off like usual, but as calmly as possible tell him that I wasn't like that at all with my daughter, but since I've had three babies die inside of me in recent months, I really can't guarantee anything. Apparently calmly mentioning dead babies is all it takes for him to get the hint. He quickly apologized for not thinking and turned the TV back on. Now, I wasn't even mad this time, just had the strong urge to cry hysterically, which eventually passed without incident.
But then later on in the evening, he starts whining about how he really wants a baby. Ok, well, I'm doing my best. Exactly what else would he like me to do? He decides he wants to have sex again to make sure I have all the spermage I could possibly require. Ok, fine, a decent enough plan except for the fact that it went for 45 minutes again and I received no additional spermage. Now, I had already put out twice yesterday, so I was pretty good on sperm to begin with. But the sex woke me up, so I ended up staying up until 3:30 this morning watching Cadet Kelly on the Disney channel. Which blew, by the way.
All the while I was thinking, what if I do get pregnant again? Can I handle another miscarriage? Can my marriage survive yet another loss so early on? Not telling anyone I'm pregnant until I'm in my third trimester is one thing, but I don't foresee even leaving my bed from the time I test positive until the second trimester. So that's 8 weeks in bed, people will notice. Like my daughter's school and my husband's job when I don't get out of bed to take them. Definitely going to have to come up with a better plan so that I can be the basketcase I will inevitable become and still manage to function on a basic level. I'm going to have to think about this and get back to you.
Welcome to day 14 of cycle 14, 6 days into prime baby making time. We are doing a little better with the timing, although it's no where near where I wanted it to be. Projected ovulation is today so we'll keep at it until Wednesday just to be sure. The husband had the bizarre need to ask me if I thought I was pregnant yet, which is virtually impossible unless I evaluated very early, which has only happened once in these 14 cycles.
And speaking of questions that should not come out of the husband's mouth during this emotionally fragile time, here's another one based on another TV show. We were watching Desperate Housewives last night. The husband loves the show, just refuses to admit it to anyone other than me, for fear that people would perceive him to be just a little less manly. He's sensitive, everyone knows it, but not my point.
Anyway, Gabby and Carlos get their new baby and when Carlos asks for his turn to hold the baby, Gabby says no. At which point the husband pauses the TiVo and asks, you aren't going to be like that when we have a baby are you? Now trying to keep him still willing to have sex with me, I don't bite his head off like usual, but as calmly as possible tell him that I wasn't like that at all with my daughter, but since I've had three babies die inside of me in recent months, I really can't guarantee anything. Apparently calmly mentioning dead babies is all it takes for him to get the hint. He quickly apologized for not thinking and turned the TV back on. Now, I wasn't even mad this time, just had the strong urge to cry hysterically, which eventually passed without incident.
But then later on in the evening, he starts whining about how he really wants a baby. Ok, well, I'm doing my best. Exactly what else would he like me to do? He decides he wants to have sex again to make sure I have all the spermage I could possibly require. Ok, fine, a decent enough plan except for the fact that it went for 45 minutes again and I received no additional spermage. Now, I had already put out twice yesterday, so I was pretty good on sperm to begin with. But the sex woke me up, so I ended up staying up until 3:30 this morning watching Cadet Kelly on the Disney channel. Which blew, by the way.
All the while I was thinking, what if I do get pregnant again? Can I handle another miscarriage? Can my marriage survive yet another loss so early on? Not telling anyone I'm pregnant until I'm in my third trimester is one thing, but I don't foresee even leaving my bed from the time I test positive until the second trimester. So that's 8 weeks in bed, people will notice. Like my daughter's school and my husband's job when I don't get out of bed to take them. Definitely going to have to come up with a better plan so that I can be the basketcase I will inevitable become and still manage to function on a basic level. I'm going to have to think about this and get back to you.