The Boy's Story

Sometimes in all of this, I forget to ask my husband how he feels. Not that we don't talk about what's going on, it's just that we talk a lot more in the first half of my cycle than the 2ww. Even when we're not talking, he knows what I'm thinking as I do a lot of blog-talking. But while I'm waiting and analyzing, I forget that he is too. I forget that like me he is on pins and needles waiting for the cycle in which we are ultimately successful. That, like me, he tries to occupy his time with something else -- anything else -- during the 2ww so as not to think too much about what might be. That like me, he tries not to pay too much attention to how I'm feeling because that will only lead to trying to analyze how this 2ww feels different from other ones. That like me, when his friends talk about their children he feels the longing of what we don't yet have.

He's been busy since the IUI. He has his oral defense on Tuesday, so he's been writing and reading and preparing for the last few weeks. So much going on there that he's had something else to concentrate on while we're waiting to see how this cycle will end. When he finishes on Tuesday, if my period hasn't started, I will be 13dpiui. But we still likely won't talk about it. We can't say out loud to one another how much we want this to work; how much we hope this works. But I'll try and remember that he's just as anxious as I am. That we both want the same things. And that we are both waiting for our own little miracle.

-- Mya