I'm so EMO just like Eeyore. Today was my birthday. And I'm circling the drain. To say I'm depressed is an understatement.
Even though my "affair" ended over 4 weeks ago, I still though I might hear from the asshat with a Happy Birthday since my birthday was a big event in the planning while we were together. Of course, this was probably all lies just to get me excited and hooked.
Also, I have been quite unsuccessful at most endeavors as of late. My business life is in the tank. My sugar eating is over the top. I supposed to meet the surgeon next week to see if they are going to reject me again for the surgery.
As I've mentioned in previous posts I border on the BPD side of things and am emotionally immature in alot of ways. Today, the asshat got tons of accolades from everyone in the company and it just killed me. Along with that, the asshat bought a new Porsche. (There is a backstory here; since asshat has two DUIs in California -- Asshat had the bright idea to buy a car and register it in another state)...Ugh, the whole thing really gets me.
As you can see, this EMO girl doesn't get over things too well. I still think my boyfriend of ten years ago should call and wish me a happy birthday. So, since I was 4 years old I've had trouble with pouting on my birthday. But, this depression is a combination of organic chemistry (meds need to be changed which will happen Monday), hormonal (need to get another Lupron shot to end the madness - this will happen tomorrow), and the sugar inhalation needs to stop (which I hope will end as of now).
I wanted to die today. As I said I was circling the drain. I don't want to be 42 and like this....envious, jealous, hurt, fat, depressed, sad, jilted, alone, and hopeless.
Hope you all had a much better day.
Even though my "affair" ended over 4 weeks ago, I still though I might hear from the asshat with a Happy Birthday since my birthday was a big event in the planning while we were together. Of course, this was probably all lies just to get me excited and hooked.
Also, I have been quite unsuccessful at most endeavors as of late. My business life is in the tank. My sugar eating is over the top. I supposed to meet the surgeon next week to see if they are going to reject me again for the surgery.
As I've mentioned in previous posts I border on the BPD side of things and am emotionally immature in alot of ways. Today, the asshat got tons of accolades from everyone in the company and it just killed me. Along with that, the asshat bought a new Porsche. (There is a backstory here; since asshat has two DUIs in California -- Asshat had the bright idea to buy a car and register it in another state)...Ugh, the whole thing really gets me.
As you can see, this EMO girl doesn't get over things too well. I still think my boyfriend of ten years ago should call and wish me a happy birthday. So, since I was 4 years old I've had trouble with pouting on my birthday. But, this depression is a combination of organic chemistry (meds need to be changed which will happen Monday), hormonal (need to get another Lupron shot to end the madness - this will happen tomorrow), and the sugar inhalation needs to stop (which I hope will end as of now).
I wanted to die today. As I said I was circling the drain. I don't want to be 42 and like this....envious, jealous, hurt, fat, depressed, sad, jilted, alone, and hopeless.
Hope you all had a much better day.