“For the Love of God, walk an hour a day!” The little voice in the back seat of my mind can be one of the most ornery, callous creatures I know. I have still been struggling to get walking. Today I did a ten-minute jaunt on my break at work. I am notorious for not taking my break at all, but today it was that or fall fast asleep on my desk. The walk helped briefly, but lately I have been very tired. Most nights over the past week to week and a half, I have gone home and fallen asleep. Dinner ends up being late or not at all. I’m simply tired most of the time, and the body feels rough (swollen and stiff).
It’s time to get stubborn about losing weight and getting in shape. Sometimes that wee voice says, “You’ll never get in shape, it’s too late, you’re getting too old and even if you lose the weight the body will hang everywhere.” It tells me I’m too lazy, and nobody cares anyway. “Why lose weight, there’s no one special. Nobody will consider you when you're lighter any more than they do now. You have no life, and the few people that are in your life are too busy for you.” The words can be like getting hit with a hammer, and I’m the nail. The more tired I feel the worse the cynicisms are.
It makes me angry really. The voice has no ground, and in reality I know its wrong. When awake and alert those attacks are silent, words only sling when I'm anything less. Everyday feels like I’m starting over again. However, I guess it really doesn’t matter if I am. The fact that I do means I have not given up hope. I just need to get the results by the end of the day more in tune with my dream. I have finally been able to visualize myself thin, and that is a huge improvement.
I’m on my way, and can use all the support I can get to keep me going. I can be my own worst enemy. Whenever another shares their encouragements, I find a little sanctity inside and that helps me push on with fewer struggles.
The little voice in the back seat of my mind can be one of the most ornery, callous creatures I know. I have still been struggling to get walking. Today I did a ten-minute jaunt on my break at work. I am notorious for not taking my break at all, but today it was that or fall fast asleep on my desk. The walk helped briefly, but lately I have been very tired. Most nights over the past week to week and a half, I have gone home and fallen asleep. Dinner ends up being late or not at all. I’m simply tired most of the time, and the body feels rough (swollen and stiff).
It’s time to get stubborn about losing weight and getting in shape. Sometimes that wee voice says, “You’ll never get in shape, it’s too late, you’re getting too old and even if you lose the weight the body will hang everywhere.” It tells me I’m too lazy, and nobody cares anyway. “Why lose weight, there’s no one special. Nobody will consider you when you're lighter any more than they do now. You have no life, and the few people that are in your life are too busy for you.” The words can be like getting hit with a hammer, and I’m the nail. The more tired I feel the worse the cynicisms are.
It makes me angry really. The voice has no ground, and in reality I know its wrong. When awake and alert those attacks are silent, words only sling when I'm anything less. Everyday feels like I’m starting over again. However, I guess it really doesn’t matter if I am. The fact that I do means I have not given up hope. I just need to get the results by the end of the day more in tune with my dream. I have finally been able to visualize myself thin, and that is a huge improvement.
I’m on my way, and can use all the support I can get to keep me going. I can be my own worst enemy. Whenever another shares their encouragements, I find a little sanctity inside and that helps me push on with fewer struggles.